This Alien Hardwood Gemstone Pendant is based on Sacred Geometry, whatever that means. I’m TLTG. Too lazy to google. Not sure if it’s supposed to keep aliens away or what, but I’m not falling for it. I’m pretty sure this is nothing more than a human tracker. If I wear this, the aliens are going to know where I am at all times and probably know exactly when my butt is dilated enough for their probing.
Tag: gemstone
Amethyst Carved Werewolf Gemstone Pendant Necklace
Bring me the head of a werewolf. And make it carved from amethyst! Oh so pretty. This Amethyst Carved Werewolf Gemstone Pendant Necklace is available in gold, silver and brass. I’ll wear a bunch of these like Mr. T if it fends off werewolfs. It might attract ’em though, cuz they’re so cool and werewolves will want one. Even regular wolves would want one. Even a wolf in sheep’s clothing would want one. Damn these look great!
Black Bat Gemstone Pendant
This Black Bat Gemstone Pendant looks pretty awesome. Give it as a gift to someone you are batty about. It is so classy and so batty that I’m squealing like a bat. Really I am, you just can’t hear me. You also can’t smell that fresh load of guano I just unleashed cuz I was so excited and couldn’t contain my bat-bowels. No worries, I promise to re-enact the whole thing when this blog goes VR and smell-o-vision, which will probably be about 2025. Wooo-hooo! I have at least that long to go without deodorant before anyone notices. Hey, why do all the house plants keep dying? Just one of life’s mysteries I guess.
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