Bring me the head of a werewolf. And make it carved from amethyst! Oh so pretty. This Amethyst Carved Werewolf Gemstone Pendant Necklace is available in gold, silver and brass. I’ll wear a bunch of these like Mr. T if it fends off werewolfs. It might attract ’em though, cuz they’re so cool and werewolves will want one. Even regular wolves would want one. Even a wolf in sheep’s clothing would want one. Damn these look great!
Tag: stone
Stone Skull Cross Pendants
These Stone Skull Cross Pendants from wayanbrothers are badass. What up Damon! What up Marlon! It’s a crucifix skeleton. A Skele-fix. A Crucible of cruci-bones. A cross of calcium. It’s stone cold awesome. Let’s make a petition so that priests have to wear these. I just need your signature right here. Boom! You been scammed bro! You just signed up for a pyramid scheme and I’m at the top, watching all you slaves build the pyramid. Faster! Faster slaves! Oh dang! There’s a guy above me and he just got all the profits. No wonder the Egyptians gave up on pyramids.
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Worrywart Gargoyle Waterspout
Attach this Worrywart Gargoyle Waterspout to your gutter pipe and this guy is gonna look like me on a Saturday night, except he is gonna be spewing water, whereas I am spewing spew. Cuz I party so hard. I party like a Gargoyle son! That means I sit around all day in one place and occasionally puke my guts out. All you can eat at the buffet (Their rules) mixed with all the liquor I can drink (My rules) makes for an interesting evening. Then it’s back to my sedentary lifestyle. So I can identify with this guy.
*Heaving over the toilet* Somebody hold my wings man.
Hand Made Stone Skull Dice
It’s time to roll them bones with these Hand Made Stone Skull Dice. Forget rolling snake eyes. I’m rolling skull eyes from now on. You play with these dice and heads (skulls) are gonna roll. They were sculpted and cast by hand in case you were wondering. They weren’t carved from the skulls of tiny square-headed people.
Legend has it that when you play with these dice and have somebody blow on your dice for luck, you can feel their breath on your own skull. Oh wait, that’s not right. That was just that guy standing way too close behind me. Back up dude! I can smell what you ate for breakfast! Smells like bacon and pancakes and despair. Seriously, back up. Your hot stinky breath made my dice into sad skull faces.
Realistic Buried Skull Garden Stones
If I had these Realistic Skull Garden Stones, I would just kneel over it with a brush, like I’m all Indiana Jones and just dug it up. Then my neighbor would be all like, “What ya got there?” and I’d be all like, “Shut Up Flanders! Meet the ex-wife. Guess I should have buried her deeper, but digging is hard work. And she was a big woman. Guess I better do it right this time. Anyway, get off my lawn!”
Then the SWAT team and I would have a nice laugh over lunch after they Swiss-cheese my house with bullets. I would casually mention the kilo of coke I planted “saw” in my neighbor’s car and how that’s an awfully nice house and car for someone who is unemployed. Good times. That’ll teach him to mind his own business.
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