Tag: gift

Spirit Board Crates – The Real Spirit Box

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Spirit Board Crates - The Real Spirit Box
Get your Spirit Board Crates here! They are perfect for holding your spirit boards. Because who doesn’t have like a ton of Ouija boards hanging around the house? Get like 100 of these crates, fill ’em with Ouija boards, then put ’em in a truck and transport them across the country! What are the odds that this shipment makes it? Or it does make it, but every other car it passes is demolished and run off the road by a thousand specters! Or you could just, you know, decorate with these spirit board crates. And let the spirits have their way with your home.

If you want an actual spirit board, check out the Call The Mothman spirit board.

Slinky Rabbit – Terrifying Toy Taxidermy

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Slinky Rabbit - Terrifying Toy Taxidermy
Slinky Rabbit. It’s Slinky. It’s Slinky. It’s such a wonderful toy. Slinky! Slinky! It brings more terror than joy! WTF yo! Is it a toy or taxidermy? It’s both. Somehow. Made from a freeze-dried rabbit by the way. In case you were wondering. Imagine this thing slinking around and chasing you. They say it died of natural causes, but I have to wonder if those natural causes were a madman and an ax. They say that children are our future, and maybe. But the future has some f**ked up toys. What ever happened to wholesome toys like Monster Cereal catnip toys? You can’t escape the slinky rabbit.

6 Headed Clock – Half Past Horror

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6 Headed Clock - Half Past Horror
With this 6 Headed Clock, it’s always time for terror. Six heads are better than one I guess. Six screaming tormented heads. I only wish that they screamed on the hour, every hour. Hey man, what time is it? Well, let me look at the cl- WHAT THE SHIZZ? HOLY HELL. KILL IT! TIME IS A LIE! *Passes out*

Now to start my script titled “Six heads Tormented Through Time” starring Nicolas Cage in a six role tour de’ force. It will make you vomit. It will make you hurl. It will make you chuck and those heads don’t give a f**k! And in case you didn’t know, here’s a clock featuring Edgar Allan Poe. It ain’t no 6 Headed Clock, but whatevs.

Plague Doctor Doll

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Plague Doctor Doll
The doctor is in. This Plague Doctor Doll looks pretty cool. He’ll keep you safe from the plague. Which I am famous for curing by the way. How did I do it? Through science and chemistry? Through harvesting herbs? Hell no. I just changed the “g” to a “q”. And ever since these Plague doctors have been known as plaque doctors. So instead of battling the plague, they battle plaque in your teeth and in your arteries, while earning awesome plaques for their service which they decorate their offices with.

See, I cured the damn thing. I don’t even get any credit. Awesome Plague Doctor Doll anyway.

While we are talking Plague Docs, check out this cool Plague Doctor Statue.

Black Gothic Heart Wall Pocket

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Black Gothic Heart Wall Pocket
At first, I thought that this Black Gothic Heart Wall Pocket was where you keep the hearts of your enemies, but it’s just shaped like a heart. With an awesome skull on it too. Me? I wear my heart on my sleeve, not my pocket, so you could say I have a heart-on. And it is painted on my sleeve with a fire and barb wire design. So you could say it is a raging heart-on. Get it? No you don’t because I’m saving myself. For myself later tonight. It’s going to be very romantic, with candles, a bath and lots and lots of crying. But I definitely have a heart-on for this gothic decor. This wall pocket is perfect for a blood rose or some deadly herbs. It has an old world charm with a suitable creepy vibe for your home.

Wall pockets make me think of hot pockets, so now I’m hungry. I’m off to get some food, but before I go, don’t forget that you can also check out this cool Black Heart Soap. They look just like real hearts, but instead of blood on your hands, you’ll get soap all over your hands. Soap is much better.