WTF!? A Chicken harness is a thing. How many people do you see taking their chickens for a walk? Just make sure you don’t put it on too tight or people will accuse you of choking your chicken. The ad says it’s good for chicken weighing, cuz we all know it’s important that your chicken doesn’t pork out. I’m getting this thing and a chicken just so I can be that guy who walks a chicken around town.
Tag: harness
Dog Rider Costume Harness
Sweet! Thanks to these Dog Rider Harnesses, now my dog will look really cool when I race him against the other dogs in the park. It’s not so much racing as it is my dog chasing other dogs and mounting them. It usually ends with an old woman crying and clutching a tiny shaky pooch to her chest, while my dog takes a poop of shame and then we get away through some bushes.
You can choose all kinds of dog riders: There’s a cowboy, a jockey, a mailman, a monkey, even a cat!
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Alien Facehugger Dog Leash
Normally alien facehuggers impregnate you in the face so that another alien bursts out of your chest, but this Etsy seller thinks walking dogs is a much better use for them.
Just let this Alien Facehugger Dog Leash sink it’s teeth into your dog as it wraps it’s arms around your dog’s back. By the time you walk to the park, an alien head will have burst from it’s rectum in an explosion of poo, leaving you lying dead on the grass, still clutching your poo bag. NOT a good idea. No one wants to die with a poo bag in their hand.
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