Tag: face hugger

Aliens Facehugger Heart Necklace

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Aliens Facehugger Heart Necklace
If you give this Aliens Facehugger Heart Necklace to someone you love, it could lead to a Valentine’s day massacre. Hugs are great and all, but not when they come from alien scum that wants to kill you with hugs to the face. At least this guy here is hugging a heart, but he will gladly trade that to wrap around your heart and squeeze real tight.

Present this with a box of chocolates and she will love you forever. Or at least until her face gets hugged off. What kind of creature evolves to hug face anyway? Suckin’ face? That I understand. every teen evolves into that? But what species says, I want to hug face when I grow up.” Have they seen the faces of most humans. I have and let me tell you, we are f***in hideous. Sure, we have a few lookers, but most of us? Real f***in’ ugly. I guess beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Or in the tentacle of your Facehugger. I hope this guy finds an attractive face. Other than mine obviously. I make my living with this face. No, seriously, this one network pays me to stay off TV. YouTube too.

Facehugger Mask

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Facehugger Mask
This guy is getting hugs all day long from this Facehugger Mask. He still looks surprised about it. This creepy critter wants to hug your face next. Will you let him? Or her? I have no idea about it’s gender. When it comes to a face hugger’s sex, I don’t ask, don’t tell. Just don’t want none.

I ain’t that desperate. Okay, I am, but I’m trying really hard not to be tempted by that sexy hugger of faces. You minx. Okay fine, you sexy seductress, hit my face all hard and squishy and start huggin’. Oh yeah. Just like that.
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Alien Face Hugger Ski Mask

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crochet alien face hugger
This Alien Face Hugger Ski Mask is perfect for any heist where you want to rob somebody AND be impregnated down the throat by a gross and nasty alien. You heard me, put all the money in the bag. You don’t want me around when my chest explodes! *BOOM. SPLAT!* What did I tell you? Wipe that blood off your face and get on the floor. It’s snack time for baby alien. By the way, I could use a doctor after that explosive C section.

It won’t really keep you warm in the winter months, but it will keep other humans away from you. In my book, that’s a win. I ain’t anti-social. Just anti-people! That’s also why I use the Alien Face Hugger dog leash.
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Alien Facehugger Dog Leash

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alien face hugger dog leash
Normally alien facehuggers impregnate you in the face so that another alien bursts out of your chest, but this Etsy seller thinks walking dogs is a much better use for them.

Just let this Alien Facehugger Dog Leash sink it’s teeth into your dog as it wraps it’s arms around your dog’s back. By the time you walk to the park, an alien head will have burst from it’s rectum in an explosion of poo, leaving you lying dead on the grass, still clutching your poo bag. NOT a good idea. No one wants to die with a poo bag in their hand.
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