Harry Potter Skele-Gro Bottles

Harry Potter Skele-Gro Bottles
I don’t know much about Harry Potter, but these Harry Potter Skele-Gro Bottles are neat. Something about mean adoptive parents, an owl that delivers his mail, Dobby the house elf, flying car, broomstick sports, something something Voldemort.

Will it make my skele grow? I have no idea, but I’d be willing to give it a shot, until my skeleton pops out of my insides and becomes my outsides. I’ll probably drink it and find out it doesn’t work and that I’ve been boned. That sounded bad. I mean scammed. Bamboozled, hoodwinked. Not boned. And certainly not against my will. I’m just ribbing ya. I’m sure everything will be spine.

This Cat Butt Looks Like Voldemort

This Cat Butt Looks Like Voldemort
Hmmm. I’m not seeing it. Oh there it is! Nevermind, that was just the mirror. This Cat Butt Looks Like Voldemort. From Harry Potter. I’ve seen cat butts that looked like Winston Churchill and I’ve seen cat butts that look like Harrison Ford, but I ain’t never seen no cat butt that looks like Voldemort. Until now.

Ohhhh. Now I see it. It also looks like he has a long tongue. Hairless cats are weird. Also, I’m pretty sure this is some kind of geek prophecy that heralds an end to nerds living in mom’s basement and the coming of an actual female.

Sweeeet! I better pack my stuff and shower real good!

via Neatorama

Magic Wands for Wizards and Witches

etsy wizard and witch wands
I am so stoked guys. I just ordered a magic wand. I’m gonna call it Wanda, because I’m just not imaginative. Syke! I’m gonna call it my “Wiz Wang”, because I’m sure it will be like a part of me when I learn spells. My Wizard instructor will be all like “Wands up class. This spell is- You, get your wand up and learn this spell. You called it Wang didn’t you? Well get your Wang in your hand and wave it like so. We can’t begin until you get your wang up young man.”

That class is gonna be so awesome and I’m gonna learn how to do all kinds of cool stuff. Me and my Wang all the way. We will be unstoppable. Screw you Harry Potter. Feel the wrath of my Wang!
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Harry Potter Monster Book Of Monsters Replica

harry potter monster book
When you read at a third grade level as I do, even the Harry Potter books are monster books. I got to about the third paragraph then took off the dust jacket and put it around my iPad so I could read the movie instead. Much easier. Until my ADD kicked in and then I had to play the Harry Potter video game, which didn’t last long because, hey a cat that needs petting!

Long story short, I have no idea what this Harry Potter Monster Book Of Monsters Replica is all about. I think it rewards reading by biting your face off or something. You see why I avoid books and words and stuff? The only reason I can type halfway coherently for you guys is because I have the mailman proofread and edit. I just grab him everyday when he hits my mailbox. In return I complete his route for him twice a week. If you can call delivering mail to the dumpster behind the convenience store completing a route. Hey, it is junk mail. Duh! And I have no idea where those Netflix DVDs went, but those shiny coasters all over the house have nothing to do with it.