Demon hunting is hard. But it’s much easier when you can get ’em in front of the dartboard. This Demon Hit By Dart Magnet wins you the game every time. Hitting the bullseye doesn’t mean crap unless you impale an evil creature on the way there. I’m not sure how many points that is worth though. Probably depends on how evil it is and what level of hell it’s from. The trick is to get them to stay still while you lob darts at their evil asses. I guess you have to glue them in place or tie them up. Maybe have a priest say a few words to hold them in place. You have to give it to the creator of this magnet. It looks awesome. Creepy as hell, but cool too. That’s some great execution! Get it? If this evil creature enjoyed beer it would be an impaled ale. Know what I’m sayin’? I wonder if demonic darts will ever catch on in the finest bars and pubs. And what would you do with those little bodies afterward? Somebody should play some darts with this demonic doll. I’m out. Gotta go play some darts myself. I have several targets.
Tag: home decor
Stained Glass Ravens For Your Gothic Garden
Stained Glass Ravens. I love that phrase. I can’t stop saying it. It’s fun. Just rolls off the tongue. Not sure what they’re stained with, but they look amazing. Perfect for your gothic home or garden. If I could talk to these birds, I would say stuff like, “Your ass is glass!” and “Nevermore!” and “What are you raven about?” But I can’t. Not until I buy a set. I just spent all of my money on crows. Hey, I needed something to crow about.
Anyone crowing about ravens? Or ravening about crows? Hey, I just met you. This might be crazy. Here’s my number, so CAW me maybe… I know, that’s terrible. Feel free to caw me out. Seriously though, these Stained Glass Ravens look all kinds of cool. Yes, I restrained myself from saying caw again. I may be crazy but I do have self-restraint and I’m also very talon-ted. What? What did I say? Anyway, they look awesome. I’m going to see if they attract more ravens to my house.
Slightly off topic, why did they never call kids who attended raves ravens? Seems like a no-brainer. Which is probably why I thought of it. I have no brain.
Skull Cigar Ashtray – Smoke ‘Em If Ya Got ‘Em
What noble creatures we humans are. We create, we reach for the stars, we- Did you just dump your cigar ash in that Skull Cigar Ashtray? Have you no shame sir? No decency? Some dude’s brain used to be in there. Oh well. I guess he ain’t using it.
I do need a candy dish and candy sure would look good in that cranium. An everlasting gobstopper in each eye hole would give him that surprised look. Then I could lick the eyeballs all day and hopefully not get caught. I don’t know though. This skull cigar ashtray is looking at me weird. He’s kind of an ash-hole.
Rat Clock – It’s Half Past Horror
Hickory Dickory Dock, a rat just died in my clock. So that’s where that smell is from. Now I have a rat clock. It is always rat o’clock. Why is it holding that baby? I have no idea. Must have snatched it and tried to make a getaway, but he was out of time. Speaking of the time, I have an appointment at half-past rat-a-twoey and it’s already 1:45. What time is it now? You know what they say. It’s half-past a rat’s ass and a quarter to his balls. Forever.
Scary Stories To Tell In The Dark Coasters
These Scary Stories To Tell In The Dark Coasters are freaking me out man. Too terrifying. These tales are chilling, even blood curdling. Stories like… Tax time! *screams* Or… Your furnace is going to cost you 4 grand to fix! *sobbing on the floor. Make it stop. No more. No more.* Truly scary stories in the dark or in the light. Or even in candlelight. *shudders* Someone hold me.