Tag: magic

Magic Wands for Wizards and Witches

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

etsy wizard and witch wands
I am so stoked guys. I just ordered a magic wand. I’m gonna call it Wanda, because I’m just not imaginative. Syke! I’m gonna call it my “Wiz Wang”, because I’m sure it will be like a part of me when I learn spells. My Wizard instructor will be all like “Wands up class. This spell is- You, get your wand up and learn this spell. You called it Wang didn’t you? Well get your Wang in your hand and wave it like so. We can’t begin until you get your wang up young man.”

That class is gonna be so awesome and I’m gonna learn how to do all kinds of cool stuff. Me and my Wang all the way. We will be unstoppable. Screw you Harry Potter. Feel the wrath of my Wang!
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Vintage Deck of Cards Straitjacket

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

deck of cards straight jacket
Any 8s? Nope. Go fish. Any Aces? Nope. Go fish. This game is boring. Why don’t we play something else? Like crazy 8s? Well, because that game is too damn crazy. That’s why I have my deck secured in a straight jacket. So it doesn’t hurt itself or others with it’s sharp edges. I also have it taking some pills and talking to a counselor once a week.

This straight jacket for cards is perfect for that one crazy deck you have that’s dangerous and deranged. It would also be perfect for keeping a haunted deck restrained. No cards are escaping this straight jacket!
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Drink Up: Create Your Own Potion Bottles

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

potionEtsy seller CuriousCircus will let you create your own unique potion bottles. You know, so you can hack a golem to pieces or have enough mana to summon a wicked cool Priestess barely wearing any clothing and carrying a Staff of Eternal Doritos Wand.

I down like 5 stamina potions a day. At least I did, until I found out Mountain Dew is +10 diabetes. Not stamina. They really should change the color. If it’s green it should either be Kryptonite or stamina potion. And pro tip: Mountain Dew red isn’t health potion. Gives you the runs.
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