The Great Garden Gnome Massacre

T Rex Garden Gnome Massacre
Make your garden a living hell for all gnome-kind. The Great Garden Gnome Massacre begins with Gnomezilla in your yard. No elf or gnome is safe. Gnomezilla is hungry for blood, so let him feast on your tacky garden ornaments. Satiate his hunger and he will look out for your garden.

*Neighbor comes outside. Hands on hips. Rolling her head with every word.* Oh Gnome you dit’int. You did not just call my garden ornaments tacky. Oh it’s on now!

I just put Gnomezilla in her garden. Wait until she sees all of the carnage. Yes. It is on. *Steeples fingers and laughs maniacally.*
Read more “The Great Garden Gnome Massacre”

Disney Princess Massacre Mini Top-Hat

disney princess hatShow everyone how you really feel about Disney Princesses. If you want to see them massacred and smashed, this is the hat for you. It makes a fashion statement and tells everyone how you feel. I know I’m sick of all these animated and emaciated Princesses singing silly songs at me.

Four Disney Princess’ lay dead:
Cinderella sits upright, impaled with her glass slipper.
Snow Whites’ jaw, ripped right off.
Aurora has been zombified. Her eye ball hangs out while she holds the heart of her Prince.
Ariel, caught by fishermen, the flesh of her tail torn off and eaten, leaving nothing but bone.

This hat makes me happy. (Mostly because I met a chick named Jasmine. She didn’t rub my lamp.) More images below.
Read more “Disney Princess Massacre Mini Top-Hat”