I knew it. I knew that all gnomes are They Live Garden Gnomes. I didn’t even need any special glasses. Gnomes run the world, forcing us to consume, obey and put them in our gardens so they can spy on us. Little ceramic bastards. I’d put this guy in my yard though. Come on, you’re coming with me gnome-slice. Yeah, yeah, money is my God. Just get in the garden.
Tag: garden gnome
Garden Gnome Kidnapped By Gargoyles Statue
What’s with all of the mythical creatures stealing gnomes? First we had Bigfoot kidnapping gnomes and now this Garden Gnome Kidnapped By Gargoyles Statue. What, is there some kind of gnome shortage in their world that we don’t know about? Why do you need gnomes in your world anyway? Hell if I know. Maybe they worship them or something. I just want to say one thing: Gnome more Gnome stealing.
Garden Gnome Kidnapped By Gargoyles Lawn Statue
Looks like we have some gnome-napping action happening here. I’ve seen this before. They are gonna tie that garden gnome up in some dark basement and demand a ransom from some old lady in a moo-moo whose life isn’t complete with her garden gnome. Gargoyles and gnomes are natural enemies, despite the fact that one sticks to the garden and the other perches on roof corners. Man, I hope the lady pays the ransom and they don’t off that gnome as an example. Bigfoot also likes to kidnap gnomes.
The Great Garden Gnome Massacre
Make your garden a living hell for all gnome-kind. The Great Garden Gnome Massacre begins with Gnomezilla in your yard. No elf or gnome is safe. Gnomezilla is hungry for blood, so let him feast on your tacky garden ornaments. Satiate his hunger and he will look out for your garden.
*Neighbor comes outside. Hands on hips. Rolling her head with every word.* Oh Gnome you dit’int. You did not just call my garden ornaments tacky. Oh it’s on now!
I just put Gnomezilla in her garden. Wait until she sees all of the carnage. Yes. It is on. *Steeples fingers and laughs maniacally.*
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Awesome Garden Gnomes Look Like Your Favorite Geek Characters
Etsy seller ianthegnome makes all kinds of crazy garden gnomes that look like superheroes, wrestlers, video game characters. You name it. Okay, I will. I name it awesome. Check out a bunch below and then go crazy ordering them for your yard. I call dibs on Superman and Batman cuz I’m creating my own gnome Justice League.
You can have Dexter and his cellophane wrapped victim. Gizmo too. No way I’m putting a Mogwai in my garden. You know he’s gonna get wet and multiply into a s**t ton of evil Gremlins that are going to break everything, eat everything and cause nothing but trouble. In other words, another me. One of me is plenty. I refuse to share my junk food and there’s not much left in my house that I haven’t broken already.
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