Oh Gnome they dit’int! They filled some jars with gnome skulls. Not numb-skulls, which I get called on a regular basis, but gnome skulls. Have you gnome shame? I can’t look. I just feel gnome!
I had no idea that a Large Jar of Garden Gnome Skulls could look so creepy and horrible. Gnome more, please!
Gnome. Gnome on the range. Where the deer and the antelope play…with gnome bones.
Make your garden a living hell for all gnome-kind. The Great Garden Gnome Massacre begins with Gnomezilla in your yard. No elf or gnome is safe. Gnomezilla is hungry for blood, so let him feast on your tacky garden ornaments. Satiate his hunger and he will look out for your garden.
*Neighbor comes outside. Hands on hips. Rolling her head with every word.* Oh Gnome you dit’int. You did not just call my garden ornaments tacky. Oh it’s on now!
I just put Gnomezilla in her garden. Wait until she sees all of the carnage. Yes. It is on. *Steeples fingers and laughs maniacally.*
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This Nibble My Bits Bird Feeder Garden Gnome will be a sight for sore eyes for my neighbors, whose eyes are sore because it’s usually me in the yard with birdseed in my pants, shouting at them to “Nibble my bits” you fargon iceholes! They never do.
I think they’ll welcome this little guy. Property values may even go up around here. What can I say, I’m a bird lover and why use a dish when I wear pants three sizes too big?
It is a well known fact that nothing protects your garden like a goofy looking Gnome. So imagine how well your garden would be protected with Slasher Movie Gnomes. If they want to mess with my Marigolds, they are going to have to get through Jason Voorhees first. Or Freddy Krueger.
Etsy seller RevenantFX makes all kinds of horror movie Gnomes to keep your pansies safe for about $53. Because if pansies could protect themselves they wouldn’t be called pansies now would they? That’s Jason Voorhees above, just waiting for someone to disturb some soil. Click through for more movie slashers turned Gnome.
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