Tag: novelty

Tovolo Zombies Popsicle Molds

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Tovolo Zombies Popsicle Molds
Make the walking dead the freezing dead with these Tovolo Zombies Popsicle Molds. Look, zombies want to eat you, so I say we eat them first. Stick a zombie in your mouth and suck! Heh. That’s my new insult. If someone says something I don’t like, I’m yelling, “Stick a zombie in your mouth and suck!” I’m hoping it really takes off and becomes something New Yorkers yell at each other every day.

Seriously though, these Popsicle molds are awesome. I’m gonna go make some delicious zombie treats now. Don’t let the door hit you… You shut up! You shut it right now! Stick a zombie in your mouth and suck!

T-Rex Skull Desk Organizer Rooooaaaarrrrrr!

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T-Rex Skull Desk Organizer
Where’d they dig up this fossil? The T-Rex Skull Desk Organizer is a mighty skull from a mighty beast and it makes a mighty desk accessory. It will hold your pens and pencils and other desk stuff,plus you can put your hand in there and pretend that it bit you and won’t let go. It comes in several colors. I’m gonna put a stuffed animal in its jaws and pretend it just made a kill, but that’s just me. Rooooooaaaaaaarrrrrrrr!

Plague Doctor Socks

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Plague Doctor Socks
The Plague Doctor is in, but he doesn’t know if you have the plague or if he has the plague, or what’s plaguing all these patients. It’s a real case of plague-urism. All he knows is that he looks awesome in his mask and he keeps making bird sounds cuz it’s fun. And cuz the owls are what what they seem. Aren’t these guys the best? Now you can enjoy them on your socks thanks to these cool Plague Doctor Socks. And let’s face it, your socks smell nasty anyway, like your feet are seriously infected anyway. Damn! Would it kill ya to at least wash your feet once in a while? That’s how the plague starts ya know. That’s why the Dutch wear those wooden shoes.

Skull and Skeleton Toilet Bowl Brush Set

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Skull and Skeleton Toilet Bowl Brush Set
Oh man. Your bathroom is about to get badass peeps. This Skull and Skeleton Toilet Bowl Brush Set is going to look great in your Gothic themed bathroom. What? Don’t we all have Gothic themed bathrooms? Well, I just did mine up real nice with a bat toilet paper holder, stained glass window, some anti-vampire crucifixes and… Wait. You guys didn’t decorate your rooms? Guys, we were all supposed to do it. I’m the only one? Great. We pinky promised and everything. And I didn’t even want to pinky promise cuz it’s not manly, but I did anyway. This really sucks guys!

I just spent like 2 grand on all this! The gargoyle decorations alone cost me $200. Whatevs. I have a sweet Gothic human guano room and you don’t. I like to call it my steam room. As in Cleveland steamer. Oh! Zing! Didn’t see that coming did ya? Hmmmm. I really need to install some ventilation in here.

Misfortune Cookies Anti-Greeting Cards

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Misfortune Cookies Anti-Greeting Cards
What’s this? Someone sent me a greeting card! How thoughtful. Oh wait. It’s one of those Misfortune Cookies Anti-Greeting Cards. Not sure if I should be depressed or not. Send these to both your friends and your foes. On the front it says “This message will self-disturb in two seconds”. Then you write whatever you want inside. Pretty awesome and kinda twisted, which is just the way we like it around here. Don’t forget about the company’s actual Misfortune Cookies either. So dark and tasty. Give ’em as a gift and send them a card with it. Perfect.