Spider Socks. Directed by Quentin Tarantula-Tarantino. A horror double feature for your feet, without all of the gratuitous violence of his other movies. Just looking at these socks is making me itchy. I keep looking at my feet. All clear so far. No land-crabs in sight. I gotta stop being so paranoid. But just because you’re paranoid doesn’t mean that spiders aren’t out to get you. Get you and bite you. Rub their hairy creepy legs all over your skin… Yeah, I’m not sleeping tonight.
Tag: socks
Plague Doctor Socks
The Plague Doctor is in, but he doesn’t know if you have the plague or if he has the plague, or what’s plaguing all these patients. It’s a real case of plague-urism. All he knows is that he looks awesome in his mask and he keeps making bird sounds cuz it’s fun. And cuz the owls are what what they seem. Aren’t these guys the best? Now you can enjoy them on your socks thanks to these cool Plague Doctor Socks. And let’s face it, your socks smell nasty anyway, like your feet are seriously infected anyway. Damn! Would it kill ya to at least wash your feet once in a while? That’s how the plague starts ya know. That’s why the Dutch wear those wooden shoes.
Friday The 13th Socks – Ch Ch Ch Ah Ah Ah
Sadly these Friday The 13th Socks don’t actually make a sound, but once someone reads the bottom, they know what it means. Huh? It’s the sound that Jason Voorhees makes ya dork. Fun fact: It’s also the sound that I make during sexy time. Which is why my lovers have to wear headphones. Now why they also need a blindfold I have no idea.
Men’s I Believe Aliens Crew Socks
Do you believe? The truth is out there man. Aliens exist. These Men’s I Believe Aliens Crew Socks prove it. They show an alien being beamed up into a UFO and waving, all like, “So long and thanks for the sh*t sample!” Damn, how many samples do you guys need? Do you have like a giant poop jar in the middle of the ship or is a colonoscopy just an international alien greeting? You guys should really brush up on your diplomacy. Enough with the butt-stuff!
Scary Skeleton Socks
Want some bones for those cold lower digits? These Scary Skeleton Socks will do. You might say they are skeleton crew socks. Get it? I love these socks. I say sock it to me! Are your feet cold or are they skulled? Skulled is better. Okay, don’t skulled me for such a bad joke. I had a pair like this once. I wore them until the bones had holes in them, so I just drank a bunch a milk and repaired them. True story. But I left out the part where I was drunk. And now I’ve shared it. No secrets from you guys, cuz we’re BFFFs. Best Friends For F**ks Sake!