Screw you Kraken. No… Corkscrew you! This Kraken Corkscrew will open your wine in the coolest way possible. By having a Kraken attack your bottle and eat the cork. He loves eating the cork. He’s more of a corken really. Hey can anybody help me open this wine bottle? I can. Summon the Kraken! It is the ultimate kitchen accessory. He Kracks stuff open. And don’t forget about the Day of the Dead corkscrew.
Tag: odd
Liquorbrand Ouija Board Gothic Symbols Purse
Illuminati in da house! Shhhhhhh! We don’t talk about them. Ever. Anyway, this Liquorbrand Ouija Board Gothic Symbols Purse has all kinds of Ouija Board symbols and even an Illuminati eye in the center. Did I not just tell you to shut your mouth? Just talkin’ bout Shaft. I mean Illuminati! That’s it! We told you that the first rule of Illuminati is that you don’t talk about Illuminati. And you just keep blabbing on and on. Yeah, well you just talked about ’em. I’m just trying to make a point. You keep- Looks like we’re both out of the club. You son of a-
Gothic Ravenskull Headdress
This Gothic Ravenskull Headdress puts bird skulls on your own skull. Obviously this is what people are raven about this season, while others crow. Speaking of, I always confuse ravens and crows. I once asked my dad, “Why are ravens and crows different?” and he said, “Just caws”. Very helpful as usual dad. Ravenskull sounds like one of them Harry Potter houses that the sorting hat picks out for you. Like, if you really wanted hufflepuff, but got ravenskull instead. What the hell is hufflepuff anyway. Sounds like the name of a paint huffing clown under some highway bridge. Whatevs.
Silver Skull Cufflinks and Skull Tie Clip
Give the man in your life these Silver Skull Cufflinks and Skull Tie Clip. They are an awesome accessory. Normally, skull and crossbones means poison, so nobody will touch your man or they gonna die! Seriously though, they look pretty awesome. Also great for pirates, whether they are of or not of the Caribbean. They are much better than these human teeth cufflinks.
Me Like Beer Bigfoot Bottle Opener
*Talking to Bigfoot* Me like beer. You like beer. We drink beer together and open them with this Bigfoot Bottle Opener. *Pops open our beers*
An hour later…
You shut yer big furry mouths, I’ll drink you under the table. What d’ya mean I’m making an ass o myself? Why you stinky man-ape, thems fightin’ words. One more thing. As long as we’re hanging out you’re gonna refer to me as Han and I’ll call you Chewy. Shut it. Just play along. Did you hit the hyperdrive or am I just seeing stars? *Passes out.*
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