If you ever wondered what those grey abducting space bastardos drink just before they swerve to a stop and activate their tractor beam, here it is: Alien Beer. Well, it’s non-alcoholic to us, but these little butt-probing weirdos get drunk on the stuff. Which explains that one encounter I had where it kept telling me how pretty I was. A 4-pack will cost you almost $400. I call that Alien inflation, which is also what I call it when I pump up that cute little alien doll I have hidden in the- Nevermind.
Tag: beer
Kraken Tentacle Mug
Grab a tentacle and raise a toast- No, not that toast! You’re dripping butter all over the place! Raise your glass man! To the amazing Kraken Tentacle Mug! What? No. No, I’m not saying there’s a crack in the mug. I’m saying it’s a Kraken mug. Are you drunk already? I’m just saying the is cool, okay? Damn, I’m trying to write a blog post here.
That reminds me, why do they call them tentacles when they don’t have small tents on the end? If you trust the English language Octopi should occupy the center of a camping site and spread their tentacles out so campers have a place to sleep.
Me Like Beer Bigfoot Bottle Opener
*Talking to Bigfoot* Me like beer. You like beer. We drink beer together and open them with this Bigfoot Bottle Opener. *Pops open our beers*
An hour later…
You shut yer big furry mouths, I’ll drink you under the table. What d’ya mean I’m making an ass o myself? Why you stinky man-ape, thems fightin’ words. One more thing. As long as we’re hanging out you’re gonna refer to me as Han and I’ll call you Chewy. Shut it. Just play along. Did you hit the hyperdrive or am I just seeing stars? *Passes out.*
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Sasquatch Metal Bottle Opener – I Want To Believe
Sasquatch, Yeti, Bigfoot, Yowie, Skunk Ape, Turd Burglar… Whatever you call him, the elusive hairy mofo is the stuff of legend. And guess what? Legends get bottle openers in their likeness. Like this Sasquatch Metal Bottle Opener. Just put your cap in Bigfoot’s chest and pop that top. Then report the incident and no one will believe you. Because that’s what Bigfoot does. He makes you look like an A-Hole. Thanks a lot you hairy, smelly freak.
Friday The 13th Beer Glass Chug Chug Chug Ah Ah Ah
Chug chug chug, Ah ah ah. This Friday The 13th Beer Glass has everyone’s favorite serial killer along with what he says when he’s chugging beer. The party doesn’t get started until Jason arrives. Dude is a party animal. The downside is that the party ends when he has killed everyone. So yeah, there’s that. Enjoy it while you can I guess.