Creepy Cool YES NO Coin – Flip To Let Fate Decide

Creepy Cool YES/NO Coin - Flip To Let Fate Decide
Life’s decisions can be tough. Should I eat that entire bag of chips or not? Should I crap in my marital bed like Amber Turd? Should I let yet another spider bite me in the hopes that I will get super powers? Life is just too complicated and I ain’t got the time or energy for making good decisions. I’ll leave it up to this Creepy Cool YES NO Coin.

Flip it. Flip it good.
Should I doo-doo on the lawn?
You must flip it.
Should I shake around my dong?
You must flip it.
It will tell you what to do.
When you flip it.
Should I paint my hamster blue?
Better flip it.

That’s the DEVO commercial for this coin in case you were wondering. Speaking of flipping things like this YES NO Coin, check out the Brains and Teeth Flip Lighters. I mean, since you like to flip things. It seems like you might have a problem. You should see someone about that. And no, I’m not trying to be flippant here. I’m genuinely flippin’ concerned about you. Look, I’m just trying to help. I’m not trying to take the coin away from you. Calm down okay?

Freddy Krueger’s Tongue Phone – AT & Tongue

Freddy Krueger's Tongue Phone - AT & Tongue
Remember Freddy Krueger’s Tongue Phone from that one Nightmare on Elm Street movie? Of course, you do. This dude is the dream master and he knows how to create the most f***ed up nightmares that will haunt you forever. This is one of those things. You just can’t unsee it. I’m not being tongue in cheek, but I bet it uses the AT & Tongue network. Maybe T-Mobile cuz I always wondered what the T stood for. Definitely not the Mint network cuz this thing does not taste like a mint while it tries to get in your mouth. In fact, it could use a mint or four. We are gonna need a bigger tin of Altoids. Freddy wants to give you a good tongue lashing. A french Freddy kiss if you will. Freddy Krueger’s Tongue Phone is all about that tongue action. I think this disturbing Freddy Krueger doll is the same way.

Imagine trying to actually have a conversation on this phone while that thing is licking and lashing to and fro. Maybe you could give it some hard candy to keep it occupied. That way you can flap your gums and it can flap itself all it wants.

Coffin Office Chairs – Not R.I.P-Cliners

Coffin Office Chairs - Not R.I.P-Cliners
Stuck in your dead end job? Is your workplace dead quiet? Is your CEO the Corpse Executive Officer? If any of those apply, these Coffin Office Chairs are for you. Perfect for that funeral home with a macabre sense of humor. Or if you are the Munsters or the Adams family. Just don’t fall asleep in these chairs, someone may cover you up with a matching coffin lid and toss you in the dirt. If you have these coffin office chairs in your office along with this coffin zen garden, you’ll have a great theme that will allow you to rest in peace. Which is a great thing during those long and super boring business meetings that could have been handled via email. God I hate those. You know what I mean? Because you feel half dead during those meetings anyway. Sadly it looks like the insides of these chairs are not as fancy and lush as that of the inside of a real coffin, which means they are not as comfortable as the real deal. If you’ve ever been in one, you know what I’m talking about. If you were lucky enough to get out again that is.

Via Technabob

Shrek Pooping Toothpaste Topper – Holy Shrek

Shrek Pooping Toothpaste Topper - Holy Shrek
This Shrek pooping toothpaste topper will make your dreams come true. If you’ve ever wanted to watch Shrek take a dump anyway. That’s probably more of us than are willing to admit it. Come on, there’s nothing like taking a good Shrek. And that’s no Bull-Shrek. Now you and your kids can enjoy the big green guy as he squeezes some soft serve from his sensitive cheeks. Right onto your toothbrush. It looks like the big green guy has been drinking a lot of milk. Or something white. That can’t be good. If that happens you see a doctor. You see parents, this is how you get your kids to brush their teeth. It’s gross and fun. That’s a combination that kids love. They will be making fart sounds as it comes out. Haha. Look mom, he just sh*t himself. That’s cool son. Now get that gooey butt paste into your mouth and brush ’em. I bought your dentist a new Porsche last month and now he’s eyeing up a boat. So Shrek better be pooping 3 times a day.

That’s a good goal for all of us honestly. It reminds me of this crazy goblin made from assorted junk.

Little Poopers – Butt Nuggets Never Looked So Cute

Little Poopers - Butt Nuggets Never Looked So Cute
Check out Little Poopers. Someone’s raising a stink. Who took a dump in here? And, what the deuce? Why is it….cute? A cute turd? Is that a curd? Who left it? Unicorns? Fairies? Hello Kitty riding on a unicorn with a fairy after eating too much roughage? No matter how adorable these poops may seem, they’re still stinkers. Trust me, they will draw flies. Big or small, cute or ugly, all poop stinks. But they think they’re the sh*t!. Does it make it better or worse that these turds can stare back at you? Talk about awkward eye contact. No matter where you leave one of these little poopers figurines, it will be sure to start a conversation! Or raise a stink. Much like ZooPoo.