Barbie goes Au Naturel with Shave And Play Barbie. You know Barbie? This is her slightly less-groomed cousin, Borbie. Borbie has a singular talent. Rapid and excessive hair growth. Testosterone overload! How fast can you grow a beard? Doesn’t matter. You’ve got nothing on Borbie. She discovered this propensity for body hair during the great pandemic of 2020. She had nowhere to go, no one to see, and not a soul to impress. “Why not let it all go?” she asked herself. Why not, indeed? One week of neglecting the razor soon led to two, then three, then an entire year went by. Sasquatch sightings were on the rise. Borbie was liberated. Free of the restraints of grooming, she celebrated her flowing body hair just like anyone else, with a mini dress and colorful eyeshadow. Hey, what’s wrong with that? Works for me. She has more hair on her face than a wolfman and more hair on her chest than a… manly man. I’m not even gonna talk about that other area. Also check out Cyclops Fashion Barbie. Like a true Karen, she sees everything. Whether she then asks for the manager I can’t say. But good luck finding eyewear at Pearlvision biatch.
Tag: odd
Gothic Christmas Gift Tags
These Gothic Christmas Gift Tags add a macabre touch to the holiday Ho, ho, ho! Merry…coffin? Feliz-Na-Vi-Dead? The holidays may be a time for fun, joy, and lights, but it needs a grisly touch here and there. Delight your goth friends and horrifying stick up the bum relatives with these one-of-a-kind, skull-adorned gothic Christmas gift tags. Up your ghoulish gift wrapping game! Pair these beauties with Christmas wrap, old newspaper obituaries, paper bags, or eviction notices for a memorable gift unwrapping experience. Who cares what Aunt Bertha thinks? Inflict a little shock and horror into the whole holiday. Besides, they’re pretty tasteful, right? Merry f***king Christmas.
Oh and have a look at these cool Krampus Gift Tags.
Cootie Collection Enamel Pins
Cooties are bad. Ewww! Girls have them, which is why I don’t touch girls. Why they don’t touch me is another story. You won’t want to keep these Cootie Collection Enamel Pins away! These gals are pretty cute actually. Creepy and cute. Just how I like my gals. Big eyes. Colorful skin. And, they are all monsters. I used to avoid cooties. Yuck! Now I say GIVE ME THOSE COOTIES! Pin them to your shirt, bag, jacket, or anywhere. It’s a whole collection! Change them out and wear your favorites, or use them all at once. It’s your call. You decide. Cootie Cuties that’s what I call ’em.
If you want something a bit darker than the Cootie Collection, check out this Vampire Bat Pin. Cuz some days you feel like accessorizing with little demon girls and other times you want something more traditionally Gothic. Do you have a Cootie Collection? I mean I have some that I keep in a jar whenever one jumps off of a girl onto me, but I haven’t added to it for a while. I just don’t get that close to girls. Cuz I’m too cool and they can’t handle it. Hey, sucks to be them.
Cyclops Fashion Barbie – Hey My Eye Is Up Here
Meet Cyclops Fashion Barbie. Time for a makeover, Barbie! What’s that? You want bigger eyes? Turn up ALL the filters, because you’re about to get your wish. Why have two small eyes, when you could have… One. Bigass. Eyeball? All-seeing? What is there for Barbie to see, anyway? Ken’s gone, the dream house has burned, and all she’s got is her looks. Keep looking, Barbie. Maybe you’ll find another plastic sucker like Ken to gold-dig! All you ever do is take take take! I’m done. You never ask me about MY day. *sobs*.
I don’t have issues, you have issues.
Keep your eye on this one, folks. She’s got her eye on you. Dress her up. Take her out. Or keep her in the corner looking creepy. Cyclops Fashion Barbie, includes terrifying, yet stylish accessories, batteries sold separately. Because, trust me, you don’t want this one coming to life. Just like these other creepy dolls.
Mysterious Sterling Silver Owl Ring
Whooooo is that? Who? Who? It is the coolest sterling silver owl ring. That’s who. It is classically creepy. Owls are creatures of the night, swooping and gliding through by dark trees as they hunt their unsuspecting prey for a late night snack. Embrace your inner bird of prey with this beautiful ring! My, what big eyes you have! Huge eyes are one of the owl’s best features. These striking orbs can spot a tiny morsel from way high up in the air. Then they swoop down and their prey is eliminated. Beauty and brutality. Ain’t nature wonderful? Channel your inner owl with this cool ring and be the envy of owl your friends. I mean all. All your friends. Those eyes. So intense. Reminds me of my ex wife when she wants money. She doesn’t even need to wear one of these creepy owl masks. She was born with resting bird-of-prey face.
Yeah nature is all about beauty and death. Kind of like this site. If it’s in nature and it is cute, chances are it can kill you or at the very least injure you horribly. That’s why I steer clear of nature. I just don’t give a hoot.