Tag: pooping

Skeleton Bathroom Prints Are Skeletal Chic

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Skull Bathroom Prints Are Skeletal Chic

Now this is what I call art! That’s some amazing bathroom decor. These Skeleton Bathroom Prints will give you something to ponder while you are out in the wild poo yonder doing your business. Take away all of that skin and muscle and hair and this is all we are. A skeleton pooping and peeing, maybe taking a nice bath. It’s just who we are. With these Skeleton Bathroom Prints you get some skeletons pooping, bathing. and cleaning the bathroom. I like it. I official endorse skeletal bathroom activities!

I will proudly display this with my Bigfoot Bathroom Towel Set. The bathroom has to be as weird as every other room in my home after all.

Squatty Potty – Dookie The Pooping Unicorn Plush

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Squatty Potty - Dookie The Pooping Unicorn Plush
Do you own a Squatty Potty? I do. Dookie The Pooping Unicorn has changed the way I poop. Saved my life. Cleansed my colon. Got my Cleveland Steamer running better than ever. He better my bowels. My rhoids are less annoyed. While my pooping is still not leveled up enough to poop rainbows, my Hershey’s kiss production line might just turn a profit for the first time in years if I can just find some of that colored foil and some ribbon shards to package it in. What I’m saying is a heartfelt thank you.

Thank you Dookie for making America great again. For my butt.

If you feel the same way, you’re gonna want this Dookie The Pooping Unicorn Plush. He will keep you going. Help you keep the faith that your pooping will get better. I promised myself I wouldn’t cry. *tears* I used to poop little pebble pellets, but ever since I got Squatty Potty, I poop giant grizzly bear mounds and am a mighty beast in my own bathroom again. My spirit animal is is now a Jedi ghost formed from noxious sh*t stink and I am slowly learning the ways of the force. Thank you!

Amazon Introduces New Delivery Service – Amazon Excrement

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Amazon Introduces New Delivery Service - Amazon Excrement
So in Sacramento this woman delivery driver got out of her van and dropped a large deuce along with the package. I hear she used to be a delivery driver in Cleveland, where she was known as “The old Cleveland Steamer”. Now they call her the “Sacramento Squat”.

The woman who witnessed this says it was an Amazon Prime sized mess that a supervisor had to come out and dispose of.

He was in shock when he saw the size of ‘it’. He ended up scooping it up with a plastic bag, but didn’t want to take it with him (it smelled really bad). Guess the garbage can will smell like s__t for the next few days. I also had to hose down the gutter/sidewalk area after he left.
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Toilet Yoga Book

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Toilet Yoga Book
Finally, something to keep me occupied while I’m laying pipe. This Toilet Yoga Book titled “Toilet Yoga (Because Sometimes Sh*t Doesn’t Happen)“, will help you get your business done. It’s full of poses that will help you poop if you’re having trouble launching a Cleveland steamer. It goes well with the Squatty Potty.

I’m guessing some of those poses have names like Downward Facing Dookie, or the Caca Cobra. This book might just help me to reach a place of zen. Rather than my usual place of grunting and cursing like a sailor.

The Squatty Potty

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squatty potty
By now you’ve probably heard about the Squatty Potty. I’m a few days behind. You might say I got backed up. Heh! That’s a little poop joke to keep things flowing. The Squatty Potty is a stool that helps you get the poop out. Especially if you are a constipated unicorn. Essentially a stool that helps create another stool.

What’s next? A Squatty Bicycle? I can’t wait. Bicycling just relaxes me. Just ask any road cleaning crew. If I can peddle while on the toilet, I’m gonna win the Tour de France with no underpants.

Mr. T say “Don’t be a fool. Use a stool!”
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