This Full Body Pregnant Skeleton Iron On Halloween Costume reminds me of that time at the airport, when I was traveling with my girlfriend. She got the full body X-ray revealing that she was with child and proceeded to her gate to board the plan. I waved and proceeded to the car and went home. Enjoy Hawaii for two honey.
I kid. I kid. I would never leave a woman so suddenly like that. I texted goodbye first.
I didn’t do it! Don’t look at me. I was just sipping my morning coffee. It looked like normal mug when I started. Took a few sips and BOOM. Baby bump. Now it’s a Pregnant Lady Cup. Great. Now I’m gonna have to be responsible for several little baby cups. I can’t even take care of myself. Guess I’m gonna have to move back in with mom and dad. I think she trapped me, but what can you do?
This Belly-Bursting Baby Halloween Costume can be easily made at home by making sweet love to a mutant and not using birth control. Mutant babies always burst out of the belly near Halloween, holding their own trick or treat bag.
Not saying I’m a mutant, but I don’t care if this thing burst out of my wife’s belly or not, I’m still getting all of the Reese’s cups this Halloween. And you better finish coming out. Feels weird now when we spoon. You keep moving your little fingers like so it feels like a centipede on my back. And what’s with that weird O face? It’s creepy. No way. You are NOT stuck. Get out the rest of the way now!
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Look at this. The miracle of life on each ear. What was that? Sorry, I couldn’t hear you since all sound waves are deflected off of my twin fetuses dangling from my ears as if swaying on their own umbilical cords.
Weeeee. Mommy is taking you for a wild ride today. First it’s off to Baskin and Robbins, because I deserve it and I have a spare cubbyhole where my butt meets my thigh, that needs to be filled with human-consumptive fat-wax. Then it’s off to the gym to work off yesterdays scandalous B and R rendezvous with raspberry. After that, it’s two hours of rom com on Netflix and then we’re off to the bar. If I play my cards right, I might just have another baby on board. For reals this time.
Nasco, maker of creepy and weird medical teaching devices, strikes again. As a man, I’m just going to have to practice my breathing techniques to get through this article without passing out. It’s cool that this company made so many things to teach doctors, but do they have to be so creepy?
Read more “Nasco Lifeform Simulaids Baby Birthing Mannequin(With Ripped Cervix)”