Congratulations. You are pregnant. Have this glittery rabbit pregnancy test. You’ll never have a free moment again. Your time will be spent cleaning poop from another smaller human’s butt-cheeks, wiping up drool, stepping on LEGO pieces as you curse the god of reproduction and you generally smell like pee.
Laugh at nerds like me all you want, but since a woman won’t touch me, I don’t have to worry about this stuff and can just play video games while my mom makes me lunch and cleans up around here.
It’s never too early to get your kid into art. You might as well start when they are in the womb, by painting weird and creepy scenes on that baby bump. That kid isn’t doing anything now aside from hurting your back and robbing you of precious minerals. Might as well make a weird statement on that belly, so you can embarrass them with pictures later in life. You can find the Belly painting kit 
Look at this. 