Dragon Dice! The game of dragons and dice! New from Spaz-bro! These dragon dice are just what a nerd like me needs to up my D and D cred with my dungeon-mates. I kind of opened a door without checking for traps. Then ran in and found myself in the center of like 50 sleeping Orcs in their barracks. Who all woke up because I yelled, “What’s up biatches!” So much for stealth.
As punishment they fireballed and lightninged the whole room, with me in it. They haven’t let me play since, even though I brought cookies last time. These dragon dice should make up for it. Then I’ll be back to getting people killed in no time. Read more “Dragon Dice”
Etsy seller Fauncy wants to create a special board game just for you. Something weird and similar to this one seen here. I would totally rule at this board game. First, I would choose to use the Monopoly Thimble, cuz you know, that’s manly as s*it. Then I roll and move 4 spaces and totally roll a critical hit against that stone golem spider.
Even if I broke my wizard’s staff, it would be worth it, because I would search it’s dead body and take it’s fangs so I could make some sweet spider-daggers. That’s handy for later, when I turn against the other players and slash them. You been poisoned son! Spider teeth just made you drop like 200 gold. Deal wid it!
Then I would land on the spot that lets me drink that awesome potion. Wizard juice is on da loose! Tastes like gatorade, but don’t care. My health is at maximum even if my sobriety took a -8. That sweet nectar of arcane wizardry is a moment on the lips and a lifetime on the hips. Literally. I’m now a pear shaped old woman under my wizard robes. Damn you vile Trickster Elixir of Old Maidenhood! Don’t matter. I’m about to fight a dinosaur son!
Rolling for my attack of melt-flesh. Damn that drink made me f***ed up! The dice falls out of my hand just as my staff fizzles and makes a fart noise! Damn you potion. Stupid T-Rex grabs me in it’s teeth and breaks me in half. Luckily, my top half crawls away as it is devouring my lower half.
I slash at my fellow players with my spider-dagger as they pass me and watch them die one by one. Ha! The game is mine. Blood loss. Sight failing. Mumble. *No one wins…* Read more “Board Game Made of Weirdness”
Etsy seller Fauncy wants to create a