Tag: shark week

Shark Attack Monster Mask

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Shark Attack Monster Mask
Shark attacks only go two ways. You can either be the one thrashing and getting sliced and diced or you can be the one doing the chomping. I recommend being the shark. Then again, I also recommended Preparation H to that guy at work a few years back just because he was an a**hole! That guy was my boss. He recommended I find other employment. So here I am, finding weird and cool stuff. How’s my blogging? Call 1-800-I-AM-SO-THE-MAN!

Anywho, everyone you approach with this Shark Attack Monster Mask will be afraid you are going to bite their face off. Bonus: It kinda looks like a badass shark/wizard. Be back later. I’m rolling up a new D and D character based on this thing. So what if I have to carry a staff with a sponge-end and water myself every 5 minutes. Gonna call him the Shiz-zard.
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Chomping Shark Slippers

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shark slippers
Man, I’m beat. I spent all day installing some sea blue carpet so I can wear these Chomping Shark Slippers and shuffle back and forth in search of chum. I call it shark room.

The first rule of shark room is: We don’t talk about shark room.
The second rule of shark room is: You don’t enter without wearing your chompers.
The third rule of shark room is: You don’t blog about shark room.

Well, I guess I’m out, having violated rules 1 and 3. It was fun while it lasted.

Jaws Attacks Necklace

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etsy jaws necklace
Who’s sharkin’ around for a new necklace? Something with some bite! Something that says my neck is a 70’s horror movie featuring an ocean predator about to attack an unsuspecting swimmer!

The Jaws Attacks Necklace is perfect! If you want, you can even replace the swimmer other stuff. Like grilled cheese, maybe a candy bar. Something that the shark can really sink it’s teeth into.