We’re gonna need a bigger bathroom. This Shark Attack Bathroom Toilet Paper Holder is perfect. Ya know why? Cuz it’s a Great Wipe Shark. It takes a great white to deal with a great brown. Know what I’m saying. This guy will always be there while you are creating your own sharknado. Look at that look on his face. I can’t tell if he’s laughing or mad about the smell.
Tag: great white
Chomping Shark Slippers
Man, I’m beat. I spent all day installing some sea blue carpet so I can wear these Chomping Shark Slippers and shuffle back and forth in search of chum. I call it shark room.
The first rule of shark room is: We don’t talk about shark room.
The second rule of shark room is: You don’t enter without wearing your chompers.
The third rule of shark room is: You don’t blog about shark room.
Well, I guess I’m out, having violated rules 1 and 3. It was fun while it lasted.
Jaws Attacks Necklace
Who’s sharkin’ around for a new necklace? Something with some bite! Something that says my neck is a 70’s horror movie featuring an ocean predator about to attack an unsuspecting swimmer!
The Jaws Attacks Necklace is perfect! If you want, you can even replace the swimmer other stuff. Like grilled cheese, maybe a candy bar. Something that the shark can really sink it’s teeth into.
Shark Serving Plate
We’re gonna need a bigger fork! This crazy Shark Serving Plate is all about the thrill of rescuing your food from the waiting jaws of a great white shark and putting it in your own tooth-hole.
Quit sharkin’ around my food holmes, or there’s gonna be blood in the water! That sweet chum is all mine!
*Shines flashlight down it’s throat*
What the- A Reese’s Piece, a half-chewed skittle and a gummi bear? I forgot I was using this as a candy dish. Awesome! Dinner just got a whole lot more- What the? A cigarette butt!
Who’s been using my shark as an ashtray?
Not Sure Who To Cheer For: Jason Vorhees VS Jaws Diorama Statue
This custom diorama depicts the epic struggle that is Jason VS. Jaws. Jason is firmly in the Jaws…of Jaws. He is also busy carving out an eye and somehow still has his mask on. The shark is all like, just give me some of the sweet serial killer om nom nom.
This lovely piece is just $250. from Ebay. Phaw! I could take that shark. I mean, if I had the money, I would take it. What are you crazy? I’m not going up against some shark in a fist fight. I have to run away each time I sprinkle fish food in my aquarium, which explains that mound of fish flakes on the floor. Say, do you think there’s a connection between that and the tendency of my fish to just give up and do a death-float the surface?
Nah. Probably just sick when I bought ’em.
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