Tag: snakes

Serpents Tarot Card Deck

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Serpents Tarot Card Deck
Wanna learn your future? Consult the Serpents Tarot Card Deck. No really. It’ll work. I’m not a snake oil salesman, I swear. Besides, you ever try to wring oil out of a snake? It’s not as easy as it sounds. Especially with the snake trying to bite the whole time. So I usually just grip it tight and put some lipstick on it, maybe a tiny hat. Really demoralize it so it stops struggling. Anyway, deal out some cards and read someones fortune.

Wait. Is this deck so you can give snakes tarot card readings? I’m a lot more confused than I thought I was, which is really saying something.
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Medusa Gorgon Wall Plaque

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Medusa Gorgon Wall Plaque
This Medusa Gorgon Wall Plaque is gonna look great on your wall. Most people think that an evil woman with snakes in her hair, who will turn you to stone with one look, is just a myth. Those people never met my ex wife. Statues? Those people have met my ex wife. And now they get to hang out in museums and stuff, where I make fun of their little pee-pees and try to chip a piece off.

Still, those are some lovely locks. You go girl! It’s like a friggin’ Pantene commercial up in this mother. Give me the hair flip. Oh girl, you got it going on. Flip that luxurious and biting mane. Run your hand through it- Oh there goes your hand. It’s just a bloody stump now. It’s cool, you have another. I want to see some intensity in those eye sockets!