Scare up some fun in your kitchen with these Michael Myers And Jason Embroidered Dish Towels. One has a knife, the other has a machete, but both will dry your dishes nicely. Or your hands. They are 100% cotton and 100% cool. This shop also has Hellraiser and Freddy. They are a great way to creep up your kitchen. You know how I creep up my kitchen? By never cleaning so I have a million cobwebs everywhere. Occasionally I’ll rip one from the corner and use it as creepy cling wrap. True story.
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Tag: housewares
Ouija Board Cutting Board
If I cut cheese on this Ouija Board Cutting Board, does that make it a Cheeja cutting board? Is that a cheesy joke? Anyhow, if you cut the cheese on a ouija board, it upsets the spirits. Boy did I learn that the hard way during a seance. Yeah, I woke the dead alright. The medium was gagging through a handkerchief, people passing out, the planchette just freaking out, whirling around the board and highlighting NO over and over and GOODBYE, like it wanted to commit suicide. I was the last one standing and I wasn’t invited back.
But enough about me. How have you been? It’s been so long. I feel like we never talk. K bye!
Custom Coffin Doll Carriage / Wet Bar
This Custom Coffin Doll Carriage / Wet Bar can be used for either thing. It can also be used for a real baby. I’m just guessing here, cuz no woman has bothered to have one with me. I see no reason why you can’t take your little monster out for a stroll in this thing and also have some room for your drinks on board. Imagine the concerned looks from other parents and the concerned calls to child services.
How many times do I have to tell you people that the kid is just sleeping? Great, now you woke him up? Do YOU wanna change his diaper. Maybe then you’ll believe me that he is alive. That ain’t embalming fluid! That’s grade A human baby s**t. Leave my baby and I alone and stop persecuting me for mylove of coffin shaped accessories!
Coffin Shaped Footstool: For If Your Feet Are Dead Tired
Man, my feet are dead tired. Time to lay these puppies out, embalm ’em and put ’em to rest on this Coffin Shaped Footstool. I’m a little worried for their tortured soles though. Shhhhhhh! You just hush puppies. Rest now. Go to a better place. All of your old shoes will be there to greet you.
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Medusa Gorgon Wall Plaque
This Medusa Gorgon Wall Plaque is gonna look great on your wall. Most people think that an evil woman with snakes in her hair, who will turn you to stone with one look, is just a myth. Those people never met my ex wife. Statues? Those people have met my ex wife. And now they get to hang out in museums and stuff, where I make fun of their little pee-pees and try to chip a piece off.
Still, those are some lovely locks. You go girl! It’s like a friggin’ Pantene commercial up in this mother. Give me the hair flip. Oh girl, you got it going on. Flip that luxurious and biting mane. Run your hand through it- Oh there goes your hand. It’s just a bloody stump now. It’s cool, you have another. I want to see some intensity in those eye sockets!