Check out my new Medusa Gorgon Ring. *Holds it up to your face* Bam! Turned to stone. Just like the ELO song. I’m turning people into stone wherever I go. You might say I’m getting lots of people hard. Get your mind out of the gutter. I’m just saying that I’m the ultimate drug cuz if I’m nearby, you’re stoned! I love this ring and I would never take it for granite!
Tag: medusa
Medusa Snake Wig
Oh thank God! I thought that was my ex wife at first. Definitely not her though, because the snakes this Medusa Snake Wig are not moving and she isn’t b*tching at me to take out the trash. Jesus, I can only move so fast. I’m doing it already. Call your Vipers off.
And stop letting them bite my ears so they can pull me in for a kiss.
That’s okay, when I divorced her, I took half her snakes,which left her with just a snake mohawk.
Medusa Gorgon Wall Plaque
This Medusa Gorgon Wall Plaque is gonna look great on your wall. Most people think that an evil woman with snakes in her hair, who will turn you to stone with one look, is just a myth. Those people never met my ex wife. Statues? Those people have met my ex wife. And now they get to hang out in museums and stuff, where I make fun of their little pee-pees and try to chip a piece off.
Still, those are some lovely locks. You go girl! It’s like a friggin’ Pantene commercial up in this mother. Give me the hair flip. Oh girl, you got it going on. Flip that luxurious and biting mane. Run your hand through it- Oh there goes your hand. It’s just a bloody stump now. It’s cool, you have another. I want to see some intensity in those eye sockets!
Classic Monster Pin-Up Girls Art Prints
These Classic Monster Pin-Up Girls Art Prints are cute and cartoony. Too bad I’m not flying an old-timey fighter plane over Transylvania. I would totally paint one of these chicks on my plane. It means you have a hot girl back home and you miss them. Kinda like how when I went to college, I painted that Perdue Chicken on the side of my Honda, with one leg up all sexy-like.
What? No I didn’t take any major. I was there to deliver a pizza because of my side job. Boy did I miss chicken that day though. She was there when I got home though. It’s toughest on the ones waiting back home.
Read more “Classic Monster Pin-Up Girls Art Prints”
This Medusa Handbag Will Turn You To Stone
In Greek mythology Medusa was beheaded by the hero Perseus. Now she is a Purse. That’s what Perseus does. He makes purses out of all of his enemies. That’s because he owned a little boutique in Athens. Dude was all about fashion. And making accessories out of his victims. Makes sense right? I should be a history teacher.
Don’t look into her eyes! She will turn you to stone and then what will you do? It’s not like you have a little robot owl buddy to help you out, like in that Clash of the Titans movie. Basically you will be all like:
I LOOKED! WHY DID I LOOK? BECAUSE I WANTED TO GET MY WALLET OUT AND PUT ON SOME LIPSTICK! WHY? WHY DID I BUY A PURSE THAT CAN TURN ME TO FRIGGIN STONE? EVERYONE THINKS I’M A STATUE NOW! IS THAT A DOG PEEING ON MY LEG?
Read more “This Medusa Handbag Will Turn You To Stone”