Tag: suit

Krampus Mask and Suit

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Krampus Mask and Suit
Hey everybody! It’s Krampus. Don’t tell your grampus! Get on your skateboard an jump him with a rampus. Gather everyone around, tell the whole campus. If it’s dark go and light a lampus. I’m so excited I got a crampus and now my pants are dampus!

This Krampus Mask and Suit is the shizz! I guess it could also double as the abominable snowman. Check out that nose ring. Dude should be plowing a field somewhere, getting whipped by a farmer. As for the outfit, I had no idea he was into bondage. Whatever floats your boat dude. Do your thing. I don’t judge.

Krampus Mask and Suit

Krampus Mask and Suit

Wearable Japanese Futon

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

monster shaving kit
It’s almost as if I said to the universe, “Universe, I’m not nearly fat and lazy enough. You think you could send a product my way that will let me just fall down and sleep on a futon that I am already wearing? Cool. Thanks. You’re the best.” and he answered me!

I mean, judging by the picture, it looks like this Wearable Japanese Futon was made for Vulcans, but this will do! Thanks God. And I’m sorry about that whole Ten commandments thing, I really thought it was more of a checklist. I’ll do better! Pinky promise!
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Mirrorman Suits

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

mirrorman suit
Behold the mighty Mirrorman! His super power? Reflecting every got-damnned thing with his suit. He is the ultimate “I’m rubber, you’re glue. Whatever you throw bounces off me and sticks to you!” superhero. Light. Check. Images. Check. Hammer. Oh man, sorry about that dude. How many tiny mirrors you got on that suit? About 1000? What’s a 1000 times 7? Oh poopy! That is A LOT of bad luck!

That suit is like a black hole of bad luck just waiting to happen. Of course it was me. Why in the HELL would you walk around with that thing? That is irresponsible on like a cosmic level! You can’t just give out that kind of atomic bomb luck!

Oh hell! Just stepped on a nail. Whew! That was close. Shoe stopped it. Anyway- *Gets hit by a football, which bounces onto a nearby car going 80. Car swerves. Hits me into Mirrorman, who cuts me like a million times and gives even more bad luck. Plus, I gotta pay for that suit now!* WTF?

Check out another suit below. Screw this guy!
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