Category: Creep Wear

Ewok Jumpsuits: No Head Needed

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Ewok Jumpsuits
Get your Yub Nub on with these cool Ewok jumpsuits and then take your head off and freak people the hell out. These jumpsuits look creepy as hell with no head. Being a furry has never been so fun. You know, a furry, these people who like to dress up like furry animals and rub all up each other while quoting My Little Pony episodes or something.

Why did they blur out the hands and feet? Were they really afraid they would be recognized? Were they worried that a match would come up on the hands and feet database?

Rock Lobster With Waves Hat

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Rock Lobster
Ladies and gentlemen, for one night only, I present…Rock Lobster and the Waves! Crowd goes wild.

I hate trying to pick up women wearing a Rock Lobster With Waves Hat. You gotta start with small talk, then turn the heat up real gently over a few hours until she’s ready. It’s too much work. And I’m no Don Juan Prawn. Besides, she makes too many waves. Treats me like a shrimp. Also very grabby and it hurts.

Real Preserved Spiderweb Pendant

Artemis Winterford3 Comments

Real Preserved Spiderweb Pendant
Want to wear a real spiderweb? I mean, I already wear them, but that’s only because a blogger seldom moves from their chair.You can wear a real spiderweb with this Real Preserved Spiderweb Pendant. It is genuine silky spider thread from the spider’s poop-sac, preserved in pressed glass and made into a pendant. Hopefully it won’t attract actual spiders who want to live there while you are wearing it.

If your name is Charlotte this is your web. Wear it Charlotte. Wear it.

That’s A Wrap: Mummy Leggings

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That's A Wrap Mummy Leggings
If you want to look like a yummy mummy below the tummy…Oh turds, I ran out of rhyming words. Be the best dressed mummy this side of de-Nile with these Mummy Leggings. It’s not just a river in Egypt. No, it’s not. I’m denying it. Anywho, these leggings will make you look good when you rise from your crypt in the morning.

I DIYed a pair once, but three thousand band-aids don’t hold up well in the washing machine, which turned them into a small mummy ball. I guess it’s good for mummy soccer. Just an idea I’m kicking around. Do you like that joke? Was it funny? This has been “The Insecure Comedian.” I’ll be here all week, but I won’t make eye contact. How’s my hair? I hope you like me.
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This Dinosaur Dress Is Dino-Mite

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dino dress
Nothing says fashion like two dinosaurs on either side of your bosom. There are 3 dinosaurs if you count the wearer of this dinosaur dress. Cuz girl, you are a Leg-O-saurus Rex. I bet she has a nice Jur-ass-ic park in back. If a girl ever gives me the time of day, I hope it’s her.

Let’s play Jurassic poker. I call. What do you have. Only a pair of twos. I have a full house. *Throws a sponge meteor at her.* Looks like your kind is extinct. Better lose that top!

Awesome! Now I can wear it.
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