Tag: star wars

Karbonite Killows: Horror Characters In Carbonite

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Karbonite Killows Horror Characters In Carbonite 1
Karbonite Killows are pillows featuring horror characters frozen in carbonite like Han Solo. They look ultra comfy. I mean for me, not for these guys all frozen like a freeze pop. They have a facehugger, Freddy, Jason, Leatherface and Pinhead. These are gonna look great lined up together on my couch.

I’m gonna pretend Boba Fett delivered them to my palace, have a party and wait for Luke to rescue his friends. Except I forgot that Luke doesn’t care about these guys. Oh well. They are still gonna look awesome in my place while I sit there like Jabba shoving food in my mouth.

C-3PO Star Wars Bra: The Bust Awakens

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C-3PO Star Wars Bra The Bust Awakens
Ummm. No. Not interested in anyone wearing this. And I’m as nerdy as they come, collecting my star wars vehicles. Nerdy as a box of Nerds candy and twice as sweet, but no way. Just no. Cuz any woman wearing this is a man baby! How do I know? They call 3PO Goldenrod in the movies for a reason. Well maybe I might be interested. You would have to call me R2 and let me access your data with my robot interface stick. I can roleplay with the best of them. Especially when all I’m saying is beep bloop bippity bleep.

You would say stuff like. “Sir, the possibility of successfully navigating a C-3PO bra and actually getting it off is approximately 3,720 to 1.” Then I’ll say, “Never tell me the odds.” Of course I’ll get it off and then my erectile dysfunction would kick in and you would say, “The chances of satisfaction are 725 to 1. Actually Artoo has been known to make mistakes… from time to time… Oh dear…”

Nah. Too much work. I can just sit here and blog feeling defeated without all that hocus pocus. Droid boobs are overrated and I’m not buying anything second hand from a Jawa. Are those C cups? Makes sense C-3PO=C cups.

Ewok Jumpsuits: No Head Needed

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Ewok Jumpsuits
Get your Yub Nub on with these cool Ewok jumpsuits and then take your head off and freak people the hell out. These jumpsuits look creepy as hell with no head. Being a furry has never been so fun. You know, a furry, these people who like to dress up like furry animals and rub all up each other while quoting My Little Pony episodes or something.

Why did they blur out the hands and feet? Were they really afraid they would be recognized? Were they worried that a match would come up on the hands and feet database?

The Fowl Awakens: Chickens In Star Wars Costumes

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chickens in star wars costumes
What the cluck? I’m not sure if this is several Chickens in Star Wars Costumes or just a one-chicken Star Wars show. There’s Hen Solo, Princess Lay-A, ChewBAWKa and Cluck-3PO. I don’t even care, I would watch the hell out of this Broadway play. Put ’em in some star wars vehicles and make ’em sing.

Then again, I just watched the dryer toss clothes for like an hour. It was okay, but the plot was a little dry. Could have used a dryer sheet. I felt like they just threw a bunch of stuff in just to see how it all tumbled around. I can only blame myself as the director. Friggin’ diva actors. CUT! You’re a pair of crusty old jeans. Act like it. “Well, what is my motivation? Am I happy that the wash didn’t remove the giant sh*t stain or does it eat at my soul?” It speaks to your mortality and a spastic colon as you strive for a better life. Just dive in already. ACTION!
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Star Wars: The Virus Awakens – Ebola Fett

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Star Wars The Virus Awakens - Ebola Fett
Damn son. Star Wars has gone viral! Like full Ebola. He doesn’t collect bounties. He infects them. This Ebola Fett figure comes with Glow in the Dark action! Limited infection of only 25 pieces.

Ebola Fett
Ridin’ dirty in a Vette.

Laboratory Playa,
Infecting Slave Leia.

Forming a contagion
of lyrical Invasion.

Fell into a pit
made the mighty Sarlacc Spit.

Yeah! The star wars vehicles these guys ride is your immune system.