Cosmicdork sells several styles of these Crazy Creepy Creature Pendants. I’m pretty sure this cyclops just wants a kiss. Some are cyclops, some have 3 eyes, others look like various ex wives to me. Pretty scary. But I do want to kiss it. Don’t judge. I’ve been very lonely and a man has needs. Besides you know what they say: One eye, many talents. Or something like that.
Category: Creep Wear
Cool Octopus-Man Skull Pendant
This Octopus-Man Skull Pendant proves that two heads are not only better than one, but also scary AF. Where does Octo-Man Skull keep his brains? Probably in the tips of his tentacles. Which is why Octo-Guys lose some IQ everytime they high-five. It comes in six colors. All are awesome.
Giant Pair of Pants is a Two Person Sleeping Bag
This Giant Pair of Pants is a Two Person Sleeping Bag and I want one. I just have to decide if I want my face to be the left or right testicle. It’s a tough call. It’s like a giant just dropped his drawers so you and a buddy can climb in. Just make sure the giant didn’t take them off cuz he crapped himself. Always check first, before climbing into oversized pants.
Holographic Fetus Pendant
Fetuses are gettin’ all holographic up in this biatch. Goin all matrix. Did it choose the red pill or the blue pill? I have no idea, but I know it’s name is Neo. Neo-natal! Zing! Didn’t see that one coming did ya? I’ve been gestating that one for nine months. Got it out just in time too. My back was killing me! This Holographic Fetus Pendant looks like it’s sucking some serious Matrix tit-ee milk!
Weird Alien Hardwood Gemstone Pendant
This Alien Hardwood Gemstone Pendant is based on Sacred Geometry, whatever that means. I’m TLTG. Too lazy to google. Not sure if it’s supposed to keep aliens away or what, but I’m not falling for it. I’m pretty sure this is nothing more than a human tracker. If I wear this, the aliens are going to know where I am at all times and probably know exactly when my butt is dilated enough for their probing.