This Giant Pair of Pants is a Two Person Sleeping Bag and I want one. I just have to decide if I want my face to be the left or right testicle. It’s a tough call. It’s like a giant just dropped his drawers so you and a buddy can climb in. Just make sure the giant didn’t take them off cuz he crapped himself. Always check first, before climbing into oversized pants.
Tag: japan
Crazy Freaky Japanese Stress Balls With Faces
These Japanese Stress Balls With Faces are so creepy and nasty I don’t even want to look at ’em. But it’s my job. They are little nightmare baby faces that you can squeeze when you’re having a bad day. And I would imagine that everyday is a bad day when you are carrying these things around with you. Squeezing them seems to unleash even more terror. They come in gray and white, but they are equally terrifying and willall haunt your dreams.
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Godzilla Wallet
Hey, it’s the monster that wrecked Tokyo. And I ain’t talking Fukushima! What? Too soon? My bad. This cool Godzilla Wallet belongs in your pocket. It shows Godzilla on the rampage, breathing fire. It also shows Godzilla’s anatomy as if he got hit with a laser. I can see he had chicken for dinner, along with a butt-load of Japanese locals and tourists.
I say butt-load cuz it looks like they are gonna hurt coming out. Depending on his digestion anyway. I’d be backed up for a week. That meal is too rich. Get it? Too rich? Cuz ya have to be rich to travel and be a tourist these days.
These Winnie The Pooh Face Masks Are Nightmare Fuel
When you think Winnie the Pooh, you think cute and cuddly right? Or if you’re immature like me you just hear the word pooh and giggle behind your hand like a Japanese schoolgirl. Well, this new line of officially licensed Winnie the Pooh ‘relaxation masks’ are creeping people the hell out. Relaxation? The only thing these masks relax is my spastic colon, making me mess my pants. These terror inducing masks look like something a serial killer would wear.
No way I’m sleeping tonight. Gonna be seeing this behind my eyelids all day. Posting pictures of yourself wearing these masks has become a thing in Japan. You can probably find them online, cuz I can’t look at any more. I took a nap earlier and saw woke up in a cold sweat just as these freaks were raising their knives to me in my dream. I say dream. I mean nightmare of epic proportions.
via Neatorama
Sumo Wrestler Notepad
My wife pointed these Sumo Wrestler Notepads out to me. I quote, “If I leave a note for your lard ass on a notepad that has another lard ass on it, maybe you’ll actually notice and do your chores.”
Yeah well. You’re a lard ass!
Real original! Fatso. Remember that time you sat on your iPhone and turned it into an iPad?
Whatevs. Saw a Sci-Fi movie the other night. It starred Jane Fonda as you. Carb-arella!
F you! Rememember that time you sued Xbox 360 for guessing your weight?
They had a camera. I nearly won that case! Anyway, you’re so fat, you leave the house in high heels and come back in flip-flops.
Are you as turned on as I am right now?
I think so even though you are a disgusting blob!
Good. Get to the bedroom you fat f**k. It’s Sumo time!