This Giant Pair of Pants is a Two Person Sleeping Bag and I want one. I just have to decide if I want my face to be the left or right testicle. It’s a tough call. It’s like a giant just dropped his drawers so you and a buddy can climb in. Just make sure the giant didn’t take them off cuz he crapped himself. Always check first, before climbing into oversized pants.
Tag: sleeping bag
Gigantic Monster Turtleneck
Gigantic Monster Turtleneck. For when you absolutely, positively, have to look like a giant mitten. I would wear this thing all day. Gonna buy two so I can relax and Netflix and Chill with myself all week long, and occasionally change my shell like a hermit crab. I’ve already been accused of looking like a giant slug while I lay about in my undies. Might as well go full pupa and be the giant man-insect-larvae I was born to be.
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The Hoodlum: A Sleeping Bag For Your Head
Get off my lawn you hoodlum! NOW I know what that crazy old guy was talking about? He was afraid I would wrap my head in it’s own sleeping bag and nap on his lawn. The jokes on him. After I left, I doubled back and slept on his porch while he was watching Matlock. No reason really. It was tiring eating that Big Mac and large fries.
Why did you walk to McDonalds?
I didn’t. Dude’s house was a rest stop between me and the car. I get winded after like 30 feet. I’m bringing this thing with me next time so my face stays all toasty.
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Bear Sleeping Bag
Check out this awesome bear sleeping bag. Mr bear says, “Get in ma belly!” and I’m like, “Uh. Okay.” Rumor is that it feels mighty nice to be slowly digested in a belly like that. How to get out once you’ve had a good night’s sleep. That’s the problem. That’s why that woman is sticking her arm out of the mouth. This thing is like a bear sarcophagus. No, not a bare sarcophagus. Bare means empty. That’s not what I- Oh forget it.
Me and bears have tons in common like that. First off we each weigh a ton. We’re big boned that’s all. We both love honey. And we both growl and crawl around on all fours being grumpy until you feed us. I am bear, hear me roar! *Roars mightily for 2 seconds and starts choking.*
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Anatomical Sleeping Bag
I love this Anatomical Sleeping Bag, but I toss and turn a lot, so I’m afraid of punching my kidneys and kicking my intestines all night long. On the other hand this might be a helpful diagram for those nights when aliens abduct you. You can’t sue those dudes for malpractice.
It is literally a body bag. I hope it buzzes when they touch it with tweezers. That damn funny bone always gets you.
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