Category: Just Plain Weird

Alien Spider-Lady Sculpture

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Alien Spider-Lady Sculpture
Spider-Lady, Spider-Lady. Does whatever a Spider-Lady does. You know, eat her young, go to spinning class and spin some kick-ass webs all over town, wield a knife- Wait. What the- This Alien Spider-Lady Sculpture is more badass than I thought. Nice Medusa-like hair too. Your web or mine baby? You promise not to bite my head off after? Cool.

*Some time later* That was great baby! *Smokes* Nah, I’m good. I don’t need an extra blanket. No, really, stop spinning that cocoon around me. It’s too hot for- Oh poopy.
Read more “Alien Spider-Lady Sculpture”

Creepy Creeper Black-Eyed Leather Journal

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Creepy Creeper Black-Eyed Leather Journal
This Creepy Creeper Black-Eyed Leather Journal must be what all those black eyed children use for a diary.

Dear Diary,

Today I knocked on someone’s door and acted all creepy.I asked to come in and the guy was like “Oh hell no!” and slammed the door in my face. Then I knocked on another door. And another. And another. It is so hard to find a soul to devour and I am oh so hungry. Maybe if I tried a place with no doors, I wouldn’t have to ask permission before eating a person’s soul. *sigh*

Flock Of Ravens For Your Wall

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Flock Of Ravens For Your Wall
And I ran. I ran so far away. I just- Oh wait. That’s a Flock of Seagulls. This is a Flock Of Ravens For Your Wall. What’s the name for a flock of Ravens? An unkindness, a murder, a gaggle, a giggle, a gander, a curiosity, a regiment? I have no idea. I just know that these ravens are gonna make your wall look like an army of birds are materializing through your wall.

That’s crazy. Feather-pluckin weird if ya ask me. I don’t know what everyone’s raven about?

Cthulhu Lava Hourglass

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Cthulhu Lava Hourglass
I tell time the H.P. Lovecraft way, with this Cthulhu Lava Hourglass. What time is it? It’s half past Cthulu’s ass and a quarter to his balls. It doesn’t matter what time you ask me, that’s always the time. This hourglass is lava-ly. I mean lovely.

The lava slowly counts down to a dark awakening that spells our doom.

Skeletons in the Closet Coaster Set

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Skeletons in the Closet Coaster Set
I don’t have any skeletons in my closet. Except for this Skeletons in the Closet Coaster Set. That’s probably because I don’t get much company. You should always keep your skeletons in your closet. I mean, skeletons, right? People see skeletons outside of your closet and they think you’re a killer. Yeah, a killer decorator! Nobody understands my love of the creepy!