Category: Just Plain Weird

Creepy Earthquake Doomsday Bunker Bed

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Creepy Earthquake Doomsday Bunker Bed
“This bed could save your life during an earthquake.” Check out the video below and see if you agree that this doomsday bunker bed can save your life.

I sleep with my arms all stretched out, so thank God I will be saved from the earthquake, even if it will cut off my arms like a limb guillotine, and leave me a quadriplegic, just laying there, trapped in a box and listening to my alarm which will never ever stop as I die in what is essentially a piss-filled dumpster.
Read more “Creepy Earthquake Doomsday Bunker Bed”

Soap Dish Skeleton Hand

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Soap Dish Skeleton Hand
Hey buddy. How bout a hand? A skeleton hand isn’t what I had in mind. This Soap Dish Skeleton Hand is a cool and creepy accessory for your kitchen or bathroom. Maybe you can position it to make it look like it’s coming out of the wall. No bones about it, this is a cool accessory. Put a little soap on, then let the bony hand rub it in and give you a massage. That’s what I would do.

Awesome Cthulhu Journal

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Awesome Cthulhu Journal
This Cthulhu Journal looks pretty friggin’ cool man. Use it as a diary, or a journal, or a place to write your awesome yet unappreciated Cthulhu fan fiction titled “Titillated By Tentacles” aka Miskatonic Mistress. Or “A tentacle fondled my mountains of madness.” Or just you know, use it for grocery lists or something. But I really want to read your fan fiction. Sounds exciting and neurotic. I mean erotic. I mean. I don’t know what I mean.

Mini Vampire Kits

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Mini Vampire Kits
These Mini Vampire Kits will come in real handy if I get attacked by a tiny blood sucker. That’s why I’m taking one of these with me in the woods. You know, ticks. Tiny bloodsuckers. Also should be good against midget politicians. And it might help you against doctors bearing tiny syringes. There are a lot of tiny blood suckers out there now that I think about it. This will help.

Stainless Steel Skull Head Whiskey Chillers

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Stainless Steel Skull Head Whiskey Chillers
Time to chill baby. With some Stainless Steel Skull Head Whiskey Chillers. And my whiskey definitely needs to chill. It was getting all uppity earlier and cursin’ up a storm. Gonna throw some of these in a glass and make it calm the f**k down! My Gin doesn’t act like that so WTF?

These skulls will chill any drink without watering it down. That’s what your kids are for. (They steal your booze and water it down. I don’t mean dunking their heads in your booze to chill it.)
Read more “Stainless Steel Skull Head Whiskey Chillers”