Tag: accessory

Godzilla Wallet

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Godzilla Wallet
Hey, it’s the monster that wrecked Tokyo. And I ain’t talking Fukushima! What? Too soon? My bad. This cool Godzilla Wallet belongs in your pocket. It shows Godzilla on the rampage, breathing fire. It also shows Godzilla’s anatomy as if he got hit with a laser. I can see he had chicken for dinner, along with a butt-load of Japanese locals and tourists.

I say butt-load cuz it looks like they are gonna hurt coming out. Depending on his digestion anyway. I’d be backed up for a week. That meal is too rich. Get it? Too rich? Cuz ya have to be rich to travel and be a tourist these days.

Skeleton Necktie

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Skeleton Necktie
Check out this Skeleton Necktie. You are a skeleton so you should wear a skeleton. This skeleton is just hanging out by a mantle all bored thinking about who he’s gonna bone next. Ha. That was a good one. I would wear this and call him Cal. Then I’d talk to him. I’d be like,”You see those guys Cal?” and he’d be all like, “Cal see ’em! Cal see ’em boss!” Ha ha ha ha ha. Calcium.

Nightmare On Elm Street Never Sleep Again Necklace

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Nightmare On Elm Street Never Sleep Again Necklace
This Nightmare On Elm Street Never Sleep Again Necklace looks just like Freddy Krueger’s sweater and even has a little gravestone underneath. I don’t see what the big deal is. I had a nightmare on elm street once and yeah it was terrifying, but guess what? I moved. I didn’t make like 10 sequels about it. You make your own destiny. Like me. For a while I was starring in “Drunk on Church Street”. Then I moved on to “Recovering on Maple.” I move around a lot. Now I’m all about, “F*ck it. Face down on Main”. We are all our own master. Reach for the stars. And when ya can’t, reach for the bottle.

Coffin Nail Antique Iron Necklace

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Coffin Nail Antique Iron Necklace
Well that’s the final nail in the coffin! This Coffin Nail Antique Iron Necklace is pretty cool ciz if you ever come across a coffin that has been dug up and left there, you can be all like, nope! I don’t think you. Then hammer your nail in so no dead bodies can get away. Runaway dead bodies are the worst. I think they really nailed it with this necklace. I really do.

And please, just buy this one. Don’t steal one from a coffin. Remember, keep dead bodies in their place.

Gloves With Built-In Claws

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Gloves With Built-In Claws
Get away. I’ll cut ya man. Scratch ya real good. These Gloves With Built-In Claws are awesome cuz it means that every time it is cold enough to need gloves, your claws come out. And no I’m not scratching your back. These are just so I can hiss and scratch at the air, maybe dig in the dirt a little before I lift my leg. That’s just how I roll. Cuz I’m a werewolf. A Teenage Werewolf cuz I got more acne than hair.