Tag: adult

The Beauty of Horror: A GOREgeous Coloring Book

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the beauty of horror a goregeous coloring book
The Beauty of Horror: A GOREgeous Coloring Book. Hmmmmm. Something tells me I’m going to need more red crayons. Just a guess. This adult coloring book looks pretty darn scary. I’m not sure if I can color this in without my mom nearby. No, not because I’m scared, but because I still live in her basement.

Kinda sucks, but it is pretty sweet to be able to hit the ceiling with a broom handle and demand she make me a sandwich. Then she yells her own demand, which is for me to get the f*** out of her house. That was a big mistake cuz I don’t negotiate with terrorists. Meaning, I’ll leave when I’m good and ready. Oh, when I get enough sandwiches, I’ll get out and not before. Now where’s my sandwich? Where’s a man that I can call my son? Oh, it’s on now mother! I hope you enjoy caring for a man-child well into your 70s! Because that’s what you’re getting!
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Twin Peaks Coloring Books

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Twin Peaks Coloring Books
That gum you like is going to come back in style. Really? Cuz I prefer ABC gum. Already Been Chewed punk! *Grabs gum out of the midget’s mouth and pops it in mine.* These adult Twin Peaks Coloring Books are pretty awesome. And that’s a damn fine cup of coffee too. I can’t wait to color the log lady and give her a Hitler mustache.

Coloring With Your Octopus Coloring Book

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Coloring With Your Octopus Coloring Book
At first I thought “Coloring with your octopus” was code for something, but it turns out its just an awesome coloring book for adults. The Coloring With Your Octopus Coloring Book is based on Brian Kesinger’s popular picture book “Walking Your Octopus“. That book shows the day-to-day adventures of Victoria Psismall and her pet land octopus Otto.

I tried to color with my octopus once but he refuses to use crayons. He just wants to ink. This coloring book has forty-eight pages for you to color.
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Adult Sized Ostrich Hop Ball

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Adult Sized Ostrich Hop Ball
Sweet! An Adult Sized Ostrich Hop Ball. I’ll finally be able to ostrich-size myself before others can do it to me. And check out that graphic down below! It’s totally safe compared to riding a real Ostrich. That’s cool, cuz I do NOT want to go through that again. I’m gonna hop my ostrich all over town, make it stick it’s head in the sand, then get into some hardcore ostrich jousting at that illegal ostrich jousting place down the street. Make it shake it’s tail feathers. Make it try to fly hang glider style. Give it a ostrich tattoo. Play Poker with it into the wee hours of the morning.

Just me and my ostrich, hopping all over the place. Here comes Peter ostrich tail, hoppin’ down the ostrich trail, hippity hoppity, ostrich is on the way…

It’s adult size so my enjoyment and use of it for transport is perfectly acceptable. You don’t need a license to ride a bird that can’t fly. That you hop on. You don’t right? I don’t think you do.
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Cthulhu Onesie Is Cthulhu Funsie

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Cthulhu Onesie Is Cthulhu Funsie
This Cthulhu Onesie is Cthulhu funsie. An ancient evil has awakened and you get to crawl inside. Cthulhu will keep you warm and toasty, but you will never be sane again. So I guess this onesie is perfect for me, since I’m already not sane. I’m not insane, cuz doesn’t that imply that I’m “In” sane, as in, in the sane? The English language. Now that’s insane. Insane in the membrane!

This fun onesie- I’m calling it a funsie or if a 500 dude gets in it, a ton-sie. This Cthulhu shell for nerd adults will insure that your friends leave you one by one, so that you are always wearing this around the house alone. Just the way it is.