Tag: ball

Human Fetal Skeleton In Glass Womb

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Human Fetal Skeleton In Glass Womb
Hey little Human Fetal Skeleton In Glass Womb! Why so sad? Turn that frown upside down. You have a womb with a view. What more could you want? Yeah I guess it’s a little cramped in there. You probably want to be born already and leave that glass womb behind. Hang in there buddy. You know what they say, if at first you don’t succeed, try trimester again. Heh. Just a little fetal humor to lighten the mood.

You look like you’re deep in thought. Kinda creepin’ me out if I’m honest. Anyway, try not to have such a de-fetal attitude. Get it? Am I annoying you fetus? That thing really sparkles. Do you use Windex? You sure I’m not annoying you? I’m just gonna pull up a chair and hang. So anyway, I never told you about that time…
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Adult Sized Ostrich Hop Ball

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Adult Sized Ostrich Hop Ball
Sweet! An Adult Sized Ostrich Hop Ball. I’ll finally be able to ostrich-size myself before others can do it to me. And check out that graphic down below! It’s totally safe compared to riding a real Ostrich. That’s cool, cuz I do NOT want to go through that again. I’m gonna hop my ostrich all over town, make it stick it’s head in the sand, then get into some hardcore ostrich jousting at that illegal ostrich jousting place down the street. Make it shake it’s tail feathers. Make it try to fly hang glider style. Give it a ostrich tattoo. Play Poker with it into the wee hours of the morning.

Just me and my ostrich, hopping all over the place. Here comes Peter ostrich tail, hoppin’ down the ostrich trail, hippity hoppity, ostrich is on the way…

It’s adult size so my enjoyment and use of it for transport is perfectly acceptable. You don’t need a license to ride a bird that can’t fly. That you hop on. You don’t right? I don’t think you do.
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Grinning Teeth Dog Balls

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Grinning Teeth Dog BallsGo play with your ball. Stop smiling at me! Stop grinning at me, I said. Where’d you get such pearly whites? I better not get a bill from some doggy dentist. What’s so funny? Are you laughing at me?

Oh, it’s just a ball that makes you look like a grinning idiot. And they hold dog treats inside too? I’ll have to get grandpa one. Instant teeth, plus he will look happy for once, like he’s enjoying my company, when I visit him in that rest home I dumped him in a decade ago. He’s so ungrateful. I basically gave him a house full of maids, to serve him dinner and wipe his saggy old butt.
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My Cat Wants This: Crazy Insane Giant Rubber Band Ball

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giant rubber ballI just caught my cat pawing at my keyboard and shopping on Ebay. You’d think that I would learn to lock my computer after the $2,000 Fancy Feast incident of 2009, but nope. Now she’s eyeing this huge ass ball of rubber bands for $2,999.00, so she can bat it around the house and set up a trap to make me run like Indiana Jones outrunning the giant boulder.
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