This is a video from FOX to promote the January 3rd release of The X-Files on Fox. Basically they scare the hell out of people by having aliens show up. Alien hands reaching out of a newspaper vending machine, aliens popping out of things, aliens scaring unsuspecting New Yorkers. It takes a lot to scare New Yorkers. Most of these victims may have had a jump scare at first, but then they are just quickly relieved that they didn’t step in bum-piss or get attacked by one of the city’s many dog-sized cockroaches. Oh just an alien? No big deal. “I’m a New Yorker! I just impaled a radioactive sewer rat with my umbrella, so get outta here which your aliens ya jabroni! Forget about it!”
Read more “Aliens In New York City Prank”
Tag: aliens
Interactive UFO Stalker Map Helps You Avoid Abductions
This new interactive map combines Google Earth with a massive database of UFO sightings to help you stalk the UFOs. That will turn the tables on those ET bastards. It’s called the UFO Stalker. You can check out sightings reported in your hometown or anywhere. The map also gives you the full sighting report from the database.
Knowledge is power and I aim to use this power so no aliens can ever make my butt hurt again. Let’s use this to catch us an alien and probe HIS butt!
Color Changing UFO Mug Shows Cow Abduction
This Color Changing UFO Mug shows a cow abduction in progress when you add hot liquid. It’s a cautionary mug. Especially if you’re a cow. A good reminder to get your eyes off of that smartphone and look up. Cuz you never know when they are coming for you. Like I always say, “Keep your eyes peeled so’s your butt don’t have to heal.” Words to live by. I also say, “Look to the stars, while they’re looking toward Uranus!”
Cryptids of North America Map Art Print
This Cryptids of North America Map Art Print will show you where you can find all of those crazy cryptids. And for all of you out there who claim they don’t exist, well they think the same thing about you. How would they even know you exist since they would never see you in your unnatural Facebook, Twitter, office and grocery store habitats? Exactly!
Guy Blames Aliens For Crime Spree
So this Wisconsin guy faces a bunch of charges after repeatedly vandalizing a home, cuz Aliens made him do it.
Over the last three weeks, Anouphong Inphachack allegedly defaced a residence in the city of Sheboygan on several occasions, doing things like smashing windows and spray painting on the side of the home. Inphachack says that these actions were orchestrated by aliens and that he is the victim of an ET virus. He says that the ‘DNA’ message on the side of the house was his way of calling attention to the fact that aliens have altered his genetic material to make him shorter.
“They are switching dimensions all the time. Setting people up for a bad time,” he told investigators, “I’m telling you the truth. The alien virus will evolve mankind.”
Hell, if I acted out every time aliens experimented on me, I’d never get out of jail. Dude needs to learn to live with a sore anus and being shorter. I suggest hemorrhoid cream and platform shoes.
via Sheboygan Press