Investigating paranormal stuff every day is hard work. Better pack a lunch. Use this X-Files Evidence Bag Lunch Tote. It looks just like an evidence bag that Mulder or Scully would use to keep their evidence in. Oh looky here, what do I have for lunch today? Let me just open the bag. Is it a poop sample from a mutant moth man? A petri dish full of black slime? It’s always a crapshoot with this bag. Sometimes actual monster crap.
Tag: x-files
Aliens In New York City Prank
This is a video from FOX to promote the January 3rd release of The X-Files on Fox. Basically they scare the hell out of people by having aliens show up. Alien hands reaching out of a newspaper vending machine, aliens popping out of things, aliens scaring unsuspecting New Yorkers. It takes a lot to scare New Yorkers. Most of these victims may have had a jump scare at first, but then they are just quickly relieved that they didn’t step in bum-piss or get attacked by one of the city’s many dog-sized cockroaches. Oh just an alien? No big deal. “I’m a New Yorker! I just impaled a radioactive sewer rat with my umbrella, so get outta here which your aliens ya jabroni! Forget about it!”
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Disturbing and Weird Spanish Olive Alien Heads
Yes, that is a bowl of Spanish olives that look like alien heads. You can eat these while you are watching the X-Files. Aren’t alien olives just the pits? Ha ha. These freaky alien treats were made by Beth of Hungry Happenings. She uses a black food coloring marker and brine to create the alien faces. Then she forgets the whole thing and has missing time.
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The Truth is Out There X-Files Scarf
I hear ya. Why would I buy an X-Files Scarf in the middle of the summer? That’s what you’re thinking. Well, that’s what they want you to think. It’s a conspiracy, wrapped in a riddle, inside of an enigma, inside of a pit that holds a quagmire. They don’t want you to have a scarf and be prepared for the cold weather to come. So they hide the truth. Right in plain sight. Is it really summer? Are you sure? Maybe a false summer created by planes spraying chemtrails, cuz they modify the weather, cuz aliens need a warmer climate.
Buy this scarf, cuz when the resistance grounds those chemtrail planes and makes the planet colder, you’re gonna need it. Hope you like snow you alien freaks!
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Altered Alien Figurines
We’ve featured FindersCreepers work before. She likes to do naughty things to vintage figurines. The truth is out there and now it is on your knick-Knack shelf. At least until some Man In Black comes and steals it, tells you you never saw it, it was never there, you were mistaken, there is no such thing as Altered Alien Figurines. Screw you MIB. I know what I saw! Great, now there’s an empty spot on my shelf where there’s no dust. Also that MIB left his dark glasses. Let’s check them out.
*Puts glasses on. Sees the words CONSUME, OBEY and SLEEP all over the place.* Pfft! Tell me something I don’t know. *Tosses glasses.*
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