Hey man, can I borrow some change? Nah, my monster says no. These Universal Monsters Bust Banks are a great way to save your money. For what? Other creepy and cool stuff of course. I’m saving money in my Wolfman bank so I can afford laser hair removal, cuz I look like a wolfman. I’m saving money in my Creature from the Black Lagoon bank so I can install a fish pond in my backyard and see if I can lure this monster to my house. You can also get Frankenstein, his bride, Metaluna Mutant and more. Monster banks rock!
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Tag: bank
Creepy Coin Eating Bank
You could buy this Creepy Coin Eating Bank, but chances are you already have one. It’s called a kid. Those little wallet-thumpers eat money like there’s no tomorrow. And guess what? There is no tomorrow. Because you have kids. And no money for cool stuff. All of your tomorrows are gone. Suckers. That’ll teach ya to not wear a rubber. You don’t see me with a grubby little money-vacuum hanging off my leg. I-
*Ding-Dong!* *Opens door.* *Looks at the little fat kid that was left on my doorstep. Kid looks back.*
I know. I know. Your mom left you here, because she can no longer take care of you and she somehow thinks I have loads of money right? Shut up. I know you’re my kid, not because you’re a little fatty, although that definitely weighs in your favor. No pun intended. I know, because you’re carrying that giant box of chocolate everywhere, just like this little fatty used to do.*Fights back tears*
Take it. This is like 500 in cash. I was gonna get a new PS4 tonight. Now get out of here before we both start crying.*sniffle* *Shuts door.* *Collects myself and looks through peephole. Sees kid going crazy outside, dancing.*
Hears: “Hey dad that crazy f***er just won me the school contest! He didn’t even buy any candy. I just won a PS4!”
God damn it!
So, E.T. Has Been Busy…
E.T. The Extra Terrestrial. My how this little guy charmed audiences back in the day. Eating Reese’s Pieces. Hiding among stuffed animals. Riding a bike in front of the moon. Back then we felt like he was our special buddy. He could make our dreams come true and cuddle with us at night. Wait. What the hell is he doing? Waxing his candle? No! Bad E.T.
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