These Weird Doll/Animal Hybrid Figures are so f***d up I had to drop my glass of whiskey and get a glass of vodka. What the hell is wrong with you people? Animals and Barbies do not mix! Do you want God to come back and barbecue us all in blazing hellfire? Cuz this is how you get God to come back. Damn twisted Etsy scientists.
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Tag: bizarre
Skull Hair Clips
Damn, somebody’s got little skull caves in their hair and those caves have residents! Looks like they just popped out and took a bite of hair. These Skull Hair Clips will make you look cool too. I think they call that style “victory rolls”. Yeah, whenever you trap some skulls in your hair and keep ’em as pets, that’s a victory. Before this I thought victory rolls was that moment when the pillsbury comes out of the oven and you shout, “victory rolls!”
I know a lady who has squirrel bones and a bird skull in her hair, but she lives under an underpass.
Mohawk Rooster Mask Wall Hanging
If you are Mad Max and sleeping in the post-apocalyptic desert somewhere, this is the rooster that wakes you up. Then it laughs maniacally and tries to shoot you. This Mohawk Rooster Mask Wall Hanging will let you recreate that feeling anytime you want.
Cock-a-doodle-do motha f***er!
Vintage Morticians Day Planner Diary
What do you think you’ll find in this Vintage Morticians Day Planner Diary?
9 AM: Went shopping at the local embalming emporium. Got a sweet deal on some cosmetics for the dead too.
11 AM: Stitched up some guy’s butthole so no more diarrhea comes out. That’s embarrassing.
12 PM: Lunch
1 PM: Arranged the bodies to recreate some of my favorite scenes from musicals. I was mildly amused, but must get back to cutting them. The sweet cutting is what I crave. And then the dressing them.
9 PM: Time for bed. Time for lonely. Until the morning when my silent friends will greet me once again and I will hug them and dress them and have tea parties. Oh I would love a cup. How have you been? It’s been so long! Kisses on each cheek.
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Crazy Creepy Scarecrow Masks
I must be a bird cuz these Scarecrow Masks from darkmasks scare the bejeebus out of me. You know what happens when a bird sees these faces looking at ’em? They just explode in a mess of feathers and guts. That’s how scary these masks are.
This reminds me of that time I did a stand up routine for a room full of scarecrows. You can guess how that went. Yeah, I left them in stitches. I’d offer these scarecrows something to eat, but they’re already stuffed. Yeah, that’s just a little scarecrow humor. That’s the last straw I promise.
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