This Coffin Skeleton Candle is pretty awesome. Creepily cool. Frightfully foul. Terrifyingly terrific. The skeleton inside is all like, “Rest in peace my bony ass! How am I supposed to rest in peace when the damn coffin burns away exposing my naked skeleton body?” Cuz that’s what happens. As the candle burns the coffin melts away to expose the corpse inside. Kind of a metaphor for life. Now I’m depressed.
Tag: candle
Bigfoot Candle: Let The Sasquatch Light Up The Room
The Bigfoot conspiracy is the biggest one of the 19th, 20th, and now 21st century and we don’t talk about it enough. Are sasquatches even real? Are the sightings all a bunch of hoaxes and misidentifications by overexcited conspiracy-theorists? Apparently, there are actual scientists actively researching this but it’s taken more than a century to tell us whether Bigfoot exists. But if you’ve seen one, you know.
Well, this Bigfoot candle should get the conversation rolling. It’s an 8.5” candle that your friends will love. It is hand sculpted and made using pure beeswax. This effectively means that it burns a couple of times longer than the paraffin wax candles you are used to. If you think Bigfoot exists and your friend don’t, wrap this majestic candle in a big beautiful box with lots of padding and watch their face melt (see what I did there) with rage when they open it. The rage turns into disappointment as they realize you could have bought them a nice watch or toy instead.
Cat Skull Beeswax Candle
Set the mood with this Cat Skull Beeswax Candle. I’m not sure what moos that would be. Romantic? Yeah, we can go with that. Nothing says romance like a burning cat skull on your dresser while you and your bump uglies all night. Although something tells me that Mr. Whiskers would not approve, no matter how much-wet food you give him. I know I wouldn’t like it if I walked into a room and saw my head on fire. I would yell SAVAGES and run. Just like I do when they tell me the price at the Walmart checkout. I’m just always surprised. You call THAT rolling back prices?
Gothic Candle Wall Sconces For Your Castle
These Gothic Candle Wall Sconces are the perfect decor for your creepy castle or haunted hovel. Other sconces don’t hold a candle to them. Get it? See what I did there? That right there was blogging comedy gold, so I hope you’re paying attention. The mirrored parts have a gold etched design and each has 4 handmade skulls. These will give your room a sweet Gothic atmosphere. The thing about candles is they lose their wax all night long. That candle there? He wax off all night? Okay,okay. No need to throw rotten fruit. I’m leaving.
The Raven Nevermore Gothic Candle
Be in darkness nevermore thanks to this cool and creepy The Raven Nevermore Gothic Candle. “Quoth the raven, `Nevermore.'” “Quoth me, Just give me that cool candle and shut your seed-hole! You are so negative bird! How about FOREVERmore instead of NEVERmore. God, I can’t be around you.” That’s why ravens and I don’t get along. I’m very rude. This is also why birds attack me in public. Oh man, I almost accidentally typed “pubic”. Thank God they don’t attack me there.
This candle is inspired by Poe’s poem The Raven. It will look great with your other Gothic decor.