Somebody paid $20.99 including shipping, for this life-like Baby Groot from Guardians of the Galaxy movie. I can’t believe I missed bidding on this! You supply the music and baby Groot will supply the dance moves.
Tag: craft fail
Glittery Bunny Pregnancy Test
Congratulations. You are pregnant. Have this glittery rabbit pregnancy test. You’ll never have a free moment again. Your time will be spent cleaning poop from another smaller human’s butt-cheeks, wiping up drool, stepping on LEGO pieces as you curse the god of reproduction and you generally smell like pee.
Laugh at nerds like me all you want, but since a woman won’t touch me, I don’t have to worry about this stuff and can just play video games while my mom makes me lunch and cleans up around here.
The Party Never Ends With This Swizzle Stick Cocktail Hat
This Swizzle Stick Cocktail Hat will be the life of the party. Just $120. from Etsy seller lovemarigold. This hat puts some swizzle in your fashion sizzle. My nizzle.
I made a hat like this once too. Just kept sticking those sticks in my hair after every drink. Yeah, I like girly drinks. So what? You want to get a girl, you have to think like one. Even drink like one.
“But what about your purse?”
“That’s NOT a purse. It’s a messenger bag.”
“I saw makeup in there and-”
“You saw nothing!”
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Realistic Hand Lamp Rockin’ A Kung-Fu Grip
Look at all of the detail on this very literal “hand lamp”. It has pores and even little hairs. I’m pretty sure there are hairs on the palm too, since it is rocking that manly grip so tight. The seller should have called it “The Handy.”
It will take a real handy dude to install this light fixture. I’m just not sure if they take on hand jobs like that. Thank you. I’ll be here all week, wondering why I’m still single. It may be my choice of interior lighting.
Click through for more images.
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Ultimate Golfer Side Table With Lamp
Oh Ebay. Does your craziness know no bounds? No. It obviously does not. This bit of geriatric-inspired furniture is a $75 Golfer table lamp. The bottom part looks just like any old timer wiling away his retirement, while the top gives you a view of the green.
If it starts walking toward me, I’m clubbing it with it’s own golf club. Just saying. Where I come from, if you see pants like those approaching you, you yell stranger danger real effin’ loud, otherwise you end up in the back of a van sucking on a lolipop, singing row-row-row-your-boat with funny pants man at the wheel, as tears stream down your face.
Happened to me just last week, but never again! I buy my candy like everyone else now.
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