Tag: hand

Nosferatu’s Hand Belt Buckle

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Nosferatu's Hand Belt Buckle
Nosferatu’s veiny and ring-fingered hand hovering over my junk? That doesn’t sound like a good time to me, but if you want a vampire’s hand to hover over your wooden stake, then this Nosferatu’s Hand Belt Buckle is for you. Nosferatu is a weird name. I used to have a friend named Josh Feratu, who liked to have a nosh feratu, but he was stinky and in need of a wash feratu. Oh my gosh feratu!

And this is why you don’t send an idiot to do a blogger’s job. Way too late for that. This idiot has been in charge the whole time. And this idiot doesn’t need some Vampire Nightstalker’s hand over his business to feel manly. My own hand will do just fine, thanks. Well, I didn’t mean it like that. Well, I didn’t, but now that I think about it… Could be fun.

Unhand my manhood Nosferatu! This Nosferatu’s Hand Belt Buckle is getting freaky with me. It does go with the Nosferatu jacket though. Anyway, I just rubbed my man junk in garlic so the joke’s on you belt buckle. And on that guy in the next urinal who nearly passed out when I unzipped my fly.

Weird Cooking – Guy Makes Hand from Fried Meat

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Guy Makes Hand from Fried Meat
On this edition of serial killer cooking, a guy makes a fried hand. Then puts rice on top. Okay. I have no idea if this guy is actually a serial killer, but the evidence is mounting when you watch this video. It’s pretty terrifying to watch and I just keep asking myself why? Why do you need to make a fried hand? Why so creepy about it? Why did I watch the whole thing? So many questions.
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This Hand Skeleton Ring Has Quite A Grip

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Hand Skeleton Ring
This Hand Skeleton Ring will make you feel like a little skeleton baby is clutching at your finger. No bones about it, that’s a great ring. I would never tell a fib…ula. I should have gone done a different (osteo)path with that joke. Well, you know I have a tendon-cy to do that. Besides I’m not feeling well. I think I have a femur. I mean fever.

Palmistry Hand Decorative Plate

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Palmistry Hand Decorative Plate
Sweet! If I’m not mistaken, the way this Palmistry Hand Decorative Plate works is that you slam your hand down on it super hard and smash up up, then you align the cracks with the symbols to find out how mad you are. At least, that’s my experience. If everything lines up with the middle finger you are “F**k you” mad. And boy was my wife F**k you mad when I broke her’s to test this theory. Palmistry is fun.

Skeleton Party Hand Glasses For Ghoulish Get Togethers

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Skeleton Party Hand Glasses
Need a hand? A skeleton hand? How about a dozen skeleton hands? These Skeleton Party Hand Glasses are to die for. Perfect for haunted house parties and ghoulish get-togethers. Raise a toast. To skeleton hands raising a toast. I gotta hand it to them, these are some great glasses. Very handy in the kitchen. Now if only I could get some skeleton hands to wash them afterwards. Am I right? Say, why do they call it raising a toast when toast isn’t involved? We should probably be slapping pieces of toast together, which is very unsanitary.