Nothing is more inviting to your guests than a Holographic Gold Cockroach Wreath on the door. Why do they call them cockroaches anyway? What are they like the chickens of the insect world? Do they make noise at the crack of dawn to wake you up? Is it because they have big wangs? That’s it, isn’t it? Holographic gold roaches sound like a luxury item. I like it.
Tag: gift
Santa’s Evil Eye Christmas Ornament
Santa really is watching you. Like a cyclops with a milky eye. Keep an eye on the kids this year by hanging this Santa’s Evil Eye Christmas Ornament on your tree.
You better watch out
You better not cry
Better not pout
I’m telling you why
Santa Claus has only got one eye.
He’s making a list
And checking it twice(Has too since he only has one damn eye)
Gonna find out Who’s naughty and nice
Santa Claus is half-blind in his one eye….
Cool UFO and Paranormal Dioramas
Do you love UFO’s and their other-worldly butt-stuff loving inhabitants? Or are you just a collector of cool and unusual UFO art? Then this multiplanes UFO diorama of Taken may just be the thing for you. LED lit, this diorama is comprised of over 15 elements/layers on 6 laser cut frames. Designed to be part of a set of 5, the series includes The Yeti, Kraken, Men in Black, and The Circus.
Hey aliens, thanks for the free ride and the butt-adjustment, but you could have given me my pants back and not put my underwear on my head.
Black Heart Soap
I don’t know about you, but I like to wash my hands with the hearts of my enemies and use their hair as loofas. So naturally, I dig this Black Heart Soap. I would never fib about these dark hearts, but I might defib them if I had the equipment. I hear what you’re thinking. That aorta make better jokes. Anyway, if you have a black heart, get all sudsy with it. I’m getting these so that my roommate can have a heart attack. You know, when I throw them at him.
Anatomic Anna and Andy Anatomy Dolls
Imagine their surprise when you give little Johnny and Judy this set of dolls for Christmas. Cuz every kid wants to start playing with their dolls only watch their guts fall out. Meet the Anatomic Anna and Andy Anatomy Dolls. The king and queen of the creepy doll world. They are designed to help kids learn, but the only thing your kids will learn is that these dolls are f**king gross. They come with clothes and all kinds of accessories. And by accessories, I mean organs like the liver, spleen, heart, kidney and other gooey innards.
I mean, if you are raising your kid to be a coroner, I guess they have to start somewhere. Funding for this Kickstarter was unsuccessful. I can’t imagine why.