Relive the horrors of the plague with this Black Death Scented Candle. I’m not really sure what that smells like, but it’s gotta be an improvement to my bathroom after I take a massive, so I’m sold. Wait a minute. It says that the fragrance is Autumn Leaves. That doesn’t sound like black death to me. I’ll just stick with the plague that I know in my bathroom. Clearly I need a plague doctor.
Tag: gift
Quench The Thirst Of Your Inner Witch – Cauldron Mugs
Bubble, bubble, toil and trouble, this elixir will remove beard stubble. *Drinks up* POOF! My beard is gone. It worked! I can’t wait to bottle this and make a billion- What the?!? Why do I have a pubic afro that looks like Jimi Hendrix circa 1969. Oh well, some lucky lady is attending Woodstock tonight. This is not I planned it. At all. It might be best to just drink regi=ular drinks from these cool Cauldron Mugs.
Update: My undercover brother keeps growing and can’t be trimmed. Had to switch to cargo pants and now a hoop skirt.
Bigfoot And Other Cryptid Keychains – Keys To The Cryptid Kingdom
You’ll never lose your keys when they are attached to a cryptid. Etsy seller SupernaturalShack sells these cool keychains that will hold your keys in paranormal style. Hmmm. I had a supernatural shack once, but it vanished. Anyway, you can choose from Bigfoot and the Flatwoods Monster in two styles. They make any set of keys the keys to the cryptid kingdom. I’ve never been, but I hear it’s lovely this time of year.
Bigfoot Polo Shirts Are Classy As Squatch
Why wear an alligator on your breast, or a polo player, when you can wear nature’s most perfect creature? These Bigfoot Polo Shirts keep things classy while also saying, “Yeah I believe in Bigfoot. So what?” Just look at that embroidered silhouette. This shirt is classy as f@@k! Cryptids in da house. But ladies don’t have cryptids on their blouse! Not my fault. This is just in a men’s style.
Cute – Charming Cryptids Vinyl Stickers
Awwww. Look at the cute little cryptids. Aren’t they adorable? These Charming Cryptids Vinyl Stickers come in Mothman, Jersey Devil, and Mongolian Death Worm varieties. Where do you stick them? I’ll tell ya where you can stick ’em. You can stick right in your… car. Or on your laptop. Wherever you want.