You know what you put in these Cthulhu Poison Bottles from OrionOddities? I’ll give you a hint. *Makes choking sounds with my hands on my neck and falls over.* What? No, the bottles aren’t poison. You put poison in them. Although I don’t recommend actually doing that. Poison is bad mmmokay? Stay away from the skull and crossbones people. It can only mean two bad things. Pirates and poison. Or pirates who have been poisoned. Or poison that is made by pirates. Three things actually. All bad. I’m gonna put some alcohol inside these and get drunk. It’s just booze, but I call it rubbing alcohol, cuz after a few sips I’ll be going to bed to rub one out. Did I just type that out loud? I was talking about releasing the genie who is obviously inside. Duh!
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Tag: h.p. lovecraft
Cthulhu Bottle Opener
Yo Cthulhu, lend me a tentacle with my beer. Cuz the only thing worse than an elder horror is the horror of being without a cold beer. This Cthulhu Bottle Opener will let you pop those bottle caps with the power of the tentacled one himself. Bring me the head of Cthulhu! For I must drink! Cuz H.P. Lovecraft stands for Heineken Pabst Lovecraft. True story. I think. I may have just made that up in a drunken stupor.
Hey, that reminds me of a joke. What do you call an alcoholic apartment manager? The Stupor-intendent. Ha ha ha. Drunk humor is the best. Thanks for all the Cthulhu Mr. Hangover Prone Lovecraft. Laterz.
Cthulhu Christmas Tree Greeting Cards
We here at Creepbay wish you a merry Christmas and a happy Cthulhu. And we mean that too. We’ve sen Cthulhu unhappy and wouldn’t wish that on anyone. Well, maybe a few people. These Cthulhu Christmas Tree Greeting Cards have a Christmas tree made up of green tentacles and a red eye. Give it to someone you love this holiday season. Much like the herp, it is the gift that keeps on giving, but this gift is much more pleasant. This is a set of 10 so you can really spread that Cthulhu Holiday cheer.
Ancient Cthulhu Tablet For Your Wall
This Ancient Cthulhu Tablet will look great on your wall. Just one more step in making your home look like an ancient temple to the Elder God. I mean I already have a bunch of cultists chanting in the basement. They even managed to open a portal so that the ancient one can enter our realm. Except the only thing that came through was a weird three-legged frog dog so far. Hang on. *Can you guys stop chanting? I’m trying to blog here!* Where was I? I can’t concentrate with all of this noise coming from down below-
Oh poopy. Things just got dead silent. And a tentacle is reaching out from under the basement door. What is thy bidding my master? ACK! ACK! OKING ME! TENT! ACK! TENTACLE CHOKING ME!
Re-Animator Herbert West Art Doll
Herbert likes to re-animate corpses. This Re-Animator Herbert West Art Doll is based on the H.P. Lovecraft short story and the Re-Animator movie. Dude’s gonna look totally creepy in your already creepy doll collection. He already has blood all over him, so, you know, that saves you the trouble. He also has his syringe and removable glasses.
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