Man, girls like this make me so nervous. I never know what to say. Nice Full Body Skeleton Halloween Costume. Seems like I can’t say anything without coming off like a jerk. I can’t tell her that I want to strip the bones off of her. Just sounds wrong. No matter how true it may be. Hey baby, you have some tight fitting bones! No, that won’t work. She does have a nice set of ribs on her though. This is the first time something has ever been ribbed for my pleasure. Just FYI. You see why I’m such a hit with the ladies? You should all be happy I spend my time writing this blog, rather than being slapped by you all day long. Bringing you the hits like this poison ivy costume.
Tag: halloween
Ornate Coffin Mirror
Step up to the Ornate Coffin Mirror and have a gander. See who is resting in peace. Spoiler alert. It’s you! It’s always gonna be you. And since you are going to die one day, this mirror tells the future. Unless you choose to be cremated. Then you’ll just show up as a blurry ashy shape in the mirror. What a thrill, to wake up and look into a coffin every morning and see your own fugly face of mortality staring back at you. Makes you feel alive. Also depressed.
Frankenstein’s Monster and Bride of Frankenstein Coffin Coasters
When I drink, I don’t mess around. I lift that drink to my lips, drink it up until it’s dead, then slam it down on one of these Frankenstein’s Monster and Bride of Frankenstein Coffin Coasters. Then I bury it in the backyard. Okay, I made that last part up, but I’ll drink you under the table. Don’t believe me? Go ahead, come at me bro. *Kicks your chair out from underneath you. See? Now you’re under the table. That’s what’s up. Stay down punk.
These coasters will protect your counters and furniture, while looking awesome. Perfect for Halloween or any time you want some extra horror in your life.
Woman Records Orbs And A Ghost In Kitchen
Below is a video of a woman in her kitchen filming supernatural orbs. Our you know, dust particles. Would it kill you to swiffer once in a blue moon? Get the old vacuum out and put some elbow grease into it? You gotta clean people. If you don’t you are going to have all kinds of supernatural phenomenon. Or…It could have been some kid outside with a flashlight. You be the judge. I’ll be the jury and the executioner. Orbs are flying fast and furious by the middle of this video- What the shizz??!!!?/?
Real honest to God ghost attacks at 1:04. It’s… the ghost of Roy Orbison! Gotta be!
Read more “Woman Records Orbs And A Ghost In Kitchen”
Brain Candle Holder
Where are my keys? I would forget my brain if it wasn’t holding my candle. Good thing it is, thanks to this Brain Candle Holder that looks like a giant brain meatball that got impaled with a candle. Sorry I forgot to turn the light on, my brain was under it. Hang on a sec. Are we sure that isn’t just a lump of raw meat?
Whatevs. I’m buying one. Cuz I’m brainy like that. I just don’t leave mine on the table so any Tom, Dick or Harry can attach a light to it.