Tag: han solo

The Fowl Awakens: Chickens In Star Wars Costumes

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

chickens in star wars costumes
What the cluck? I’m not sure if this is several Chickens in Star Wars Costumes or just a one-chicken Star Wars show. There’s Hen Solo, Princess Lay-A, ChewBAWKa and Cluck-3PO. I don’t even care, I would watch the hell out of this Broadway play. Put ’em in some star wars vehicles and make ’em sing.

Then again, I just watched the dryer toss clothes for like an hour. It was okay, but the plot was a little dry. Could have used a dryer sheet. I felt like they just threw a bunch of stuff in just to see how it all tumbled around. I can only blame myself as the director. Friggin’ diva actors. CUT! You’re a pair of crusty old jeans. Act like it. “Well, what is my motivation? Am I happy that the wash didn’t remove the giant sh*t stain or does it eat at my soul?” It speaks to your mortality and a spastic colon as you strive for a better life. Just dive in already. ACTION!
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Han Solo Tauntaun… HanTaun

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

han solo
I see J.J. Abrahams new Star Wars is in full swing. Nice choice merging Han with a Tauntaun. Just needs Jar Jar on top whipping him forward. Now they smell bad AND shoot first. This Han Solo “HanTaun” action figure is…OK, I’m not going to pretend this is anything other than f**ked up. Those eyebrows will insure that it roams the wintry expanse of my nightmares.
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Han Solo In Carbonite Toilet Seat

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Han Solo In Carbonite Toilet SeatThis is how you deal with smugglers that are ticking you off. You freeze them in carbonite and make a toilet seat out of them, so they are forced to kiss your fat butt cheeks for all eternity. If you are a big fat slug creature, you can always freeze someone else for your wall, but Solo deserves the toilet treatment. $59.99.