The Mythical Creatures Bible is the perfect book for a religious dude like me, cuz I’m religious about mythical beasts. Before the chupacabra was sucking on goats in South America, and before Bigfoot was messing with people in the woods, other creatures were doing whatever they could to make life hard for people through the ages. This book covers dragons and serpents, weird insects, zombies, golems, banshees and much more. Mythical my ass. I’ve seen things, man.
Tag: animals
Day of the Dead Animal Figurines
Check out these cool Day of the Dead Animal Figurines. Play dead spike! Play dead! Now play Day of the Dead. Good boy. Now let’s wash that paint off of you before you scare the neighbors. These figurines are pretty cute. Etsy seller JuliaClareDesigns has many fun animals to choose from. These are going to look good on your desk or shelf.
Read more “Day of the Dead Animal Figurines”
Ouija Board For Pets
This Ouija Board For Pets aka talking board will help your dog, cat, lizard and whatever the hell else you have, communicate with you. Or you can use the planchette to talk to your departed animals. Spoiler alert! You know what they all say? Feed me! Dead or alive, they all want the same thing. I don’t need a damn ouija board to tell me what my cat is thinking. He tells me just fine. Scratching up my furniture means he’s an a-hole, coughing up a hairball means he’s an a-hole, not that he’s sick, and jumping on my face in the morning doesn’t mean he’s hungry. He just wants to remind me that he’s an a-hole. That board only needs one large space reading A-HOLE.
Why Not? Stackable Animal Fetuses
Stackable Animal Fetuses. Why the hell not? They are like building blocks I guess. The building blocks of life. Meet rhino fetus, elephant fetus and hippo fetus. Hippo fetus is the worst. That fatty is always leeching vital nutrients and minerals from the others. I don’t know. Put ’em on your desk. Stack ’em on top of each other. Spin ’em like a top until the fetus is dizzy. I just have no idea here. I’ll have to gestate on it for awhile….
I’ve decided that they are the “in” thing right now. In utero!
Sewn Bones: Plush Animal Skeletons
Floozey (Hey,didn’t we meet in a seedy bar one night?) makes these cool, cuddly and creepy Sewn Bones: Plush Animal Skeletons. Experience the softer side of skeletons. You can choose from rats, a two-headed Pug, a Dragon’s head and more. At least these bones will never be broken.
I’m gonna get the rat and name it Cal C. Um. Maybe I’ll get the Pug too and call their heads Ribby Allen and Mia Marrow. Hell, I’ll just have a plush menagerie of bone pets.
Read more “Sewn Bones: Plush Animal Skeletons”